26/16 My Monologues & Musings :
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Mt 16 :24)
Dear Jesus,
You are very outspoken with your views!
You are very upfront with your conditions.
To follow you is not an easy cake walk!
Rather it is a tough walk with the cross!
Dear Jesus,
You don't force me to follow you.
For that matter,
You don't force anyone to follow you.
I am free to choose to be your disciple.
Dear Jesus,
Though I want to follow you, the problem with me is that I don't like the condition you have placed.
I don't wish to carry my cross.
I am more than happy and I love to follow you provided you eliminate my those crosses I have to carry.
That's what I wish, want, pray.
Dear Jesus,
I am like the many who wanted to follow you
Dreaming it to be easy and cosy.
Often it is the case that i want to follow you
Because i think of you as a miracle worker!
Dear Jesus,
I often wanted to follow you as a boy
Because I thought you would help me
to do well at school and get good grades
Which happened many a times!
Dear Jesus,
I often wanted to follow you
Because when I prayed to you
While I was sick and suffering
You healed me, though with medical help.
Dear Jesus,
Often it is the case that i wish to follow you,
Because I want you to make life
easy and hassle free,
happy and worry free.
Dear Jesus,
Whenever I am faced with an emergency, Whenever i have a serious problem,
I come running to you,
I kneel, i prostrate, i throw up my hands.
I pray with my eyes filled with tears,
I pray with a choking voice,
I beseech you,
Even I lay a sort of siege around you,
I do all these to get my petition sanctioned,
My prayers heard or my problem solved!
Once I get prayers answered,
Sure I come to thank you profusely!
Then it's all over!
I am back to my normal lukewarm ways.
I don't feel the need to pray to you.
And if at all I pray,
It would be a routine exercise!
That's it, that's often me!
Remember, I no ordinary lay person,
I am priest, a senior priest!
It will take yet another problem or emergency for me to come to you
Once again with fervent prayers!
Dear Jesus,
When will i learn to pay heed
To the conditions you have placed
that I should take up my cross and only then can I follow you.
Dear Jesus,
It means:
I should face my cross of everyday life,
With all its worries and weariness,
With all its pains and problems,
With all its setbacks and sadness,
With all its hurts and hurdles.
With all its joy and happiness,
With all its success and thrills.
Dear Jesus,
I know it in my head
That i should take up my cross.
But I feel it in my heart
That I dislike to carry my cross.
Dear Jesus,
This is an everyday struggle
A daily routine of life.
To dislike the cross of pain
To like the crown of pleasure.
Dear Jesus,
Despite my natural dislike of the cross
Everyday I want gladly carry it.
Because I want follow you,
As you love me unconditionally
Despite my brokenness and weaknesses!
Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank You,
I thank the Father,
I thank the Spirit,
For
Your :
Unsolicited gift of life for me!
Uncountable blessings for me!
UnlimitedPatience with me!
Untold Forgiveness for me!
Unflinching faith in me!
Unfailing Hope in me!
Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Tuesday, 26th January, 2016
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues and a part of my journaling of the Prodigal Priest in me as I struggle to return to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you.
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