122 My Monologues & Musings : Joseph, the Husband of Expecting Maiden Mother
Musings of Joseph,
“I was really getting worried as Mary, my wife, was drawing nearer to the final stages of her pregnancy. I was very much concerned and was praying for the safest delivery!
It has been an ordeal indeed for eight plus months.
Ever since our marriage was fixed and the betrothal had taken place:
I had been dreaming,
dreaming of having a happy married life, dreaming of having our own kids,
wanting to have at least a couple of smart sons,
imagining playing with them, and
watching them grow up!
I kept on building castles in the air.
I loved to dream like any other would be father would have dreamed.
But I was shattered when I learned of her pregnancy even before we started to live together as husband and wife!
The entire dreamy castle complex i have been building collapsed like a pack of cards.
It was sleepless nights and restless days for me.
I didn't know what to do..
I was going mad..
I was angry with her for having cheated me..
At first, I was determined to take her to the court of elders and have her stoned to death for being unfaithful.
Though she desperately wanted to talk to me and explain to me, I wasn't in a mood to listen to her.
I couldn't bring myself even to look at her..leave alone talking to her or listening to her.
I thought to myself:
what was there to talk and explain?
Wasn't it so obvious what she did?
Now does she want to explain it away?
I couldn't believe her doing such an unpardonable crime of breaking the bedrock of conjugal promise.
It could have been that she was forced upon!
Whatever!
I just couldn’t imagine marrying a girl who wasn't made pregnant by me.
No way!
But at the same time, I couldn't even think of subjecting her to the ordeal of a summary trial and have her stoned!
I happened to love that much.
Equally, I couldn't even imagine to have her as my wife, even for a moment!
I told her:
Mary, whatever you say,
Sorry, I just can't bring myself to love you and accept you as my wife! ……...
Well, as I was mulling over these thoughts,
the very same Angel Gabriel who appeared to her came to me and tried to explain to me about the Divine Intervention resulting in the pregnancy of my Fiance.
I couldn't grasp it..
Yet I had to grapple with it.
Never heard of such thing!
I didn't know what to do!
I kept on asking myself: Why me?
Why is it the legitimate dreams of a would be spouse are being shattered?
What did I do to be so punished?
Well, my initial shock and disappointment began to subside and turn into a kind of
grudging acceptance of mysterious happenings.
As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I began to see Mary, my Pregnant Fiance in a more acceptable way.
My cold shouldering attitude towards Mary began to transform into a warm and caring concern.
But then a new problem began to crop up!
The Census!
Despite her advanced stage of pregnancy
I was thrust into a situation where I had to take my Fiance down to Bethlehem for registering our names for the Census.
It was a long, dusty, dangerous road over a hundred kilometers or so from Nazareth to Bethlehem.
It really got me worried about the safety of Mary and of the baby to be born!
I was haunted by the real possibility of Mary going into labour pain on our journey as such a journey would normally require a minimum of two days.
I was constantly plagued with the thoughts:
Will we able find a place to stay once we reach Bethlehem?
If not, what would I do?
Oh, Yahweh, my God,
What should I do? …..
I kept on asking. …..”
Dear St. Joseph,
Despite being a Just Man, you were subjected to mentally agonizing and torturous times during the final stages of the the pregnancy of your Fiance!
It was an odyssey of a perilous ordeal!
I do admire your steadfast faith and your steady growth of awareness of the Divine Designs for your life!
How I wish to keep on a steady growth of pilgrimage of faith!
May my return, as a Prodigal Priest, to the Home of my Heavenly Father, be hastened!
May my personal pilgrimage of my renewal and growth from my Nazareth to Bethlehem be on a steady course!
May the Divine Child be born over again in the Bethlehem of my heart!
Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank you for your:
Unsolicited gift of life for me!
Uncountable blessings for me!
Unlimited Patience with me!
Untold Forgiveness for me!
Unflinching faith in me!
Unfailing Hope in me!
Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Monday, 14th December, 2015
Dear Reader, These Reflections are a part of my journaling of the Prodigal Priest in me as I struggle to return to the Home of our Heavenly Father.
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