3/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : “My Lord and My God” (Jn 20:28)
Dear Apostle Thomas,
After the Resurrection of Jesus your Master and your Lord, you, for sure, garnered much attention and courted controversy, right?
Though very little is known about your personal life, your family background and about your occupation etc, some of your interventions do highlight your personal qualities and characteristics.
Remember, when Jesus your Master wanted to go to Judea and visit his friend Lazarus who was seriously ill, he was dissuaded by your fellow-disciples for the fear of his life. But you were courageous enough to invite your colleagues to go with the Lord, come what may, right? While your fellow-disciples played it safe, you had the guts to go and even face death!
That is remarkable of you!
Unlike your colleagues, you showed such an unalloyed affection and commitment to your Lord and Master?
Dear Apostle Thomas,
Your show of chivalry was not to impress upon. It was genuine indeed!
Dear Apostle Thomas,
Your candid and courageous witnessing forces me to look into myself and be confronted with my own lack of courage and commitment to stick out for my Master!
Thank you for forcing me to look into myself and be in touch with my own half-hearted commitment to my Lord and Master.
Dear Apostle Thomas,
Remember, you once told your Lord and Master that you don't know the Way?
How innocently/naively you blurted out your ignorance concerning the Way and expose your ignorance in the presence of everyone including your Master and Lord. You never felt small by letting the Lord know of your ignorance concerning the Way,
Dear Apostle Thomas,
If I were in your shoes I would have kept quiet and wouldn't have made known my ignorance. By acknowledging your ignorance in the presence of your Lord and in the presence of fellow-disciples, you were able to get growing closer to the Lord. Very often, I am ashamed to admit my ignorance and appear to be all knowing!
No wonder, I am stuck and stunted in my personal relationship with the Lord, despite being a religious and a priest for forty plus years.
Dear Apostle Thomas,
Finally, you are unjustly branded as "the doubting Thomas" as you refused to buy and believe the Resurrection of your Lord and Master. You were defiant, you at least appeared to be stubborn.
Why?
Was your 'Doubt' a ploy to me action?
to get attention?
Were you afraid to get hurt again?
You adamant to the point of being obstinate?
Was your "Doubt" an attempt to express your anger and frustration?
By the way, where were you when the Risen Lord appeared to rest of your fellow-disciples?
Did you feel discounted and marginalized by the Risen Lord as He chose to appear to the disciples when you had gone out to run errands and collect provisions?
It was not just doubting for the sake doubting.
You didn't hang on to your doubt.
You didn't feel vindicated.
You didn't boast, finally when Lord appeared and yielded to your demands to touch the wounds and place your figure in his wounded side.
You just melted..
You didn't insist to touch or place your finger.
You were totally bowled over, right?
Your spontaneous response,
"My Lord and My God" said it all.
No more doubts..
No more conditions..
Just giving yourself entirety away to your Lord!
Surrendering!! total Surrendering!!
Dear Apostle Thomas,
How i wish to surrender myself to the Lord as did!!!
Will I ever be able?
Dear Jesus, My Risen Lord,
My Lord and My God,
You never were hurt or offended by his haughty demands.
You never were angry with Thomas for insisting with conditions!
You just yielded to his conditions!
You just paid heed to demands!
Because, you just needed to seen him transform!
I guess, you do wish the same for me!
Help me to get myself transformed like your
Thomas!
Thank you,
My Risen Lord for keep patiently waiting for me!
To say,
"My Lord and My God"!
Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,
I bring before you:
Everyone of my loved ones.
Everyone of my enemies who were and are.
Everyone who loves as well as hates me.
Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.
Everyone who helps me and who don't.
Everyone whom i have lead astray.
Everyone who is sick and needs healing.
Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.
Every priest who is in need of prayers.
Everyone who has met with me!
Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank You,
I thank the Father,
I thank the Spirit,
For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!
For Your Uncountable blessings for me!
For Your Unlimited Patience with me!
For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!
For Your Unflinching faith in me!
For Your Unfailing Hope in me!
For Your Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Sunday, 3rd April 2016
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!
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