72/16 My Monologues &
Musings : The Pharisee who wants to test Jesus ( Mk 10 : 1-12)
Musings of a Pharisee who wants to test Jesus…..
“I am one of those Pharisees
who always wanted to test Jesus who himself claimed and was was considered by many as the promised Messiah-King.Many of us couldn't stand him and stomach many of his teaching especially his teachings about mercy, forgiveness, and loving one's enemies etc.
We always saw in him a real threat to our own vested interests and to our very identity itself.
How could we allow him to go on.
It would have been suicidal to let him preach against our firm hold on the Jewish Society!
So any and every means, be it fair or unfair was fine with us.
I never felt guilty of trapping or testing or tricking him so that we accuse him of blasphemy or sedition.
I was convinced that by getting rid of him we were doing a favour to our religion and nation.
But after his Crucifixion, from our point ov view, things took a turn for the worse.
His followers kept saying and believing that he rose from his death!
Well, at first I couldn't believe it.
Then I got confused!
Slowly I began to wonder whether Jesus is the Messiah?
The worst part of it is:
I have no feelings of remorse or of regret.
I don't feel that I / we have done something wrong by crucifying him!
To be precise, I can't bring myself to repent.
It's a strange feeling indeed!
I often think that whatever I do is right or I can justify it.
Anyway I am a sort of convinced that I can do no wrong!
It does scare me indeed!
Why am I so?
I can't also bring myself to show compassion and kindness to others!
I am dry of such noble feeing!
Am protecting myself under the cover of
strict religious observation of rules and Rituals?
I honestly just doesn't know!
When our Pharisaic Movement began about two hundred or so years ago, it was meant for a genuine renewal and to keep the prestige purity of the Mosaic and Prohetical Teachings.
But somehow we got deviated and corrupected!
Is there, will there be any salvation for me and people like me?
Though I wonder,
I know my Yahweh will bring me back!
After all:
“The Lord is my Shepherds….!”
Dear Brother Pharisee,
Thank you for your musings..
Often I too have felt like you!
Self-righteous and over critical!
Dear Jesus,
You know very well the Pharisee in me, Right Lord?
It scares me!
Despite being a priest for over forty plus years, there is still a little Pharisee in me!
I want him to repent and be renewed in Spirit!
Won’t you help me Lord?
Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank You,
I thank the Father,
I thank the Spirit,
For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!
For Your Uncountable blessings for me!
For Your Unlimited Patience with me!
For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!
For Your Unflinching faith in me!
For Your Unfailing Hope in me!
For Your Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Saturday, 12th March, 2016
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!
I
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