60/16 My Monologues & Musings : Do you want to get well?” (Jn :5: 6)

60/16 My Monologues & Musings : Do you want to get well?” (Jn :5: 6)

Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. 2 Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda[a] and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. [4] [b] 5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, 10 and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”11 But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ ”12 So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”13 The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.14 Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” 15 The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.The Authority of the Son
16 So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him. 17 In his defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” 18 For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.

Musings of the Paralyzed Brother,

“Do you want to get well?’”

“When I was asked this question by this young and energetic Rabbi, I was thrown off guard! No one had ever asked me this question for the last thirty eight years!

The memories of my first day here are still very vivid in my mind. I was just a boy when my father along with my uncles brought me on a stretcher as my legs were paralyzed and i couldn't walk. My father and uncles were with me for a few days trying to help me to get into the pool. But we couldn't. It was too crowded. As my father and uncles had to get back home to take care of the farming and cattle and sheep. They were forced to leave me with some of the acquaintances we had made by the side of the pool. Initially they tried to help me to reach the pool. But crowd kept pushing and pressing and they couldn’t get me to the pool. Slowly I gave up even trying to get to the pool. The people around began to feel pity on me and started to give me alms and edibles. I was a sort of happy and found myself at home around pool.  Days, months and years rolled by.  In the meantime I had become one of the senior most invalids there waiting for a cure… I had altogether forgotten about healing and didn't even want to get healed anymore!

I was a sort of at home with my miserable state. It is at this juncture Jesus appeared on the scene and asked whether I want to be healed… I didn’t know what to say.  So I played the same old classic tune of being left uncared hoping to get some sympathy from him. Hardly did i know thst i was in for a shock! I found myself carrying my cot and walking !!!!

Oh, No!  I was least prepared for healing!

I was scared of the future!

What can I do?

Where would I go?

After the long thirty eight years:

Would there be a home for me to return?

These fears and anxieties were derp within me!

Now that I am healed,  those fears and anxieties forcefully came to the fore.

I wasn't at all prepared for the healing!

So I wasn't happy!

I walked away angrily and in a huff!

I didn't even care to thank him!

I didn't even care to ask his name!

I didn't want to face stark realities of a life after the cure.

So, I was, in a sense, happy to hide behind my infirmity!

Unwilling to face real life!

It was a sort running away from my life and hiding behind my paralysis.

I was like a parasite sucking out the sympathetic gains from the goodwill of others!

It was a sort of exploiting the generosity of the caring people around!

That indeed was a sin!

No wonder, the Lord Jesus had warned me of my sin and admonished me not to.kerp.on sinning!

As I look back at those thirty eight years:

Those were years of dodging life.

Those were years of running away from life,

Those were years of escaping from life, Those were years of hiding behind illness.

I am glad the Lord shook me out of sinful sloth and slumber.

Thank you, Jesus, my Healer and Lord.”

Dear brother thank you for forthright and frank musings!

Dear Jesus,  

This is my story too..

Often enough I had been like this paralyzed brother, running away and hiding from the responsibilities of my life.

I have often hid myself like a tortoise!

I have been a coward afraid of facing life!

I have exploited the sympathy and the good will of my fellow humans!

I am often a paralyzed priest!

I am sorry!

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!

My Fault, My Fault, My Grievous Fault!

Dear Jesus,

Do shake off from my slumber of escapism.

Do keep challenging of my laziness.

Do keep warning me of exploiting others.

Do continue to be patient with me.

Dear Jesus,

I bring before you:

Everyone one of my loved ones.

Everyone of my enemies who were and are.

Everyone who loves as well as hates me.

Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.

Everyone who helps me and who don't.

Everyone whom i have lead astray.

Everyone who is sick and needs healing.

Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.

Every priest who is in need of prayers.

Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,

I thank the Father,

I thank the Spirit,

For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!

For Your Uncountable blessings for me!

For Your Unlimited Patience with me!

For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!

For Your Unflinching faith in me!

For Your Unfailing Hope in me!

For Your Unconditional Love of me!

Amen

JoAchen

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Monday 29th February, 2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!