62/16 My Monologues & Musings : Lord to whom shall I go?
“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve….. You have the words of eternal life.On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?.....
Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him (6:60-69).
Dear Jesus,
You never forced anyone to follow you.
Though you picked and chose the Twelve they were never held against their will and wish. Besides the Twelve, there were many others who followed you. Many of them did leave you because they felt some of your teachings and exhortations hard or unacceptable.
Dear Jesus,
You were neither angry nor hurt as they left.
Though you felt sad, you did respect their freedom, Right, Lord?
Even with regard to your chosen Twelve you were immensely patient with them. Despite their frequent failures and slow progress you never gave up on them.
Despite his boastful assurances you knew and warned Peter of his impending fall.
It was all the more difficult for you as he was your handpicked disciple destined to be the leader, Right, Lord?
Dear Jesus,
You never disparaged him or scolded him.But gave him a very understanding and supportive look which was very powerful indeed! It did melt his heart out and brought the best out of him, Right, Lord?
Dear Jesus,
I too have betrayed you not thrice but many more times. Every time you looked at me as you did with Peter. You have forgiven me not three times but thirty three thousand times three times more,
Right, Lord?
Great indeed is your merciful and forgiving love for me!
Dear Jesus,
But my response has been unlike that of your Peter. My response has been very meager as well as weaker. Your Peter never again hurt you. While I keep on hurting you over again.
That's often me, Lord!
Dear Jesus,
I want to repent and weep like Peter.
May i never get disappointed like Judas!
Like Peter, I want keep saying:
Lord, to whom shall i go?
Dear Jesus,
I bring before you:
Everyone of my loved ones.
Everyone of enemies who were and are.
Everyone who loves as well as hates me.
Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.
Everyone who helps me and who don't.
Everyone whom i have lead astray.
Everyone who is sick and needs healing.
Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.
Every priest who is in need of prayers.
Everyone who has met with me!
Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank You,
I thank the Father,
I thank the Spirit,
For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!
For Your Uncountable blessings for me!
For Your Unlimited Patience with me!
For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!
For Your Unflinching faith in me!
For Your Unfailing Hope in me!
For Your Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Wednesday, 2nd March, 2016
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!
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