My Monologues 6
My Monologues with my Creator and Co-Creators
(Ps 8, 139, Lk 1)
Oh, my God, my Creator, often I ask myself:
Why has He created me?
Along with the Psalmist, I ask in wonder:
" when I look at sky which you have made,
at moon and stars,
which you have set in their places,
What is man, that You think of him;
mere man, that you care for him?"
OH, my God, why on earth and how on earth that You thought of creating me?
In your eternal designs, You found a place for me, didn't You?
"For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb
"When my bones were being formed,
carefully put together in my mother's womb,
When I was growing there in secret,
You knew that I was there-
You saw me before I was born."
Lord, "I praise You
because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.."
O my Creator, You keep telling me as You did to the prophets,
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.."
"I have carved you on the palms of my hands.."
"I have called you by name..you are mine."
You keep telling me, "you are a blessing."
Thank You, my Creator, my God for repeatedly reminding me all these eternal words.
Lord, I just can't express my feelings and thoughts any better than the above words of Your Psalmist and of Your Prophets!
Lord, the more I reflect,
the more I am lost in the wonder of your deliberate designs to form and to fashion me in Your own Image and Likeness!
Lord, You created me out of your unfathomable love, right?
You found a place for me on Your beautiful Earth. Though I am just one among the tens of thousands of billions of your children, You thought of and planned to create me, right?
And You did!
And You keep on sustaining me with Your love ever since I was born. Thank You!
Again with the Psalmist,
let me keep saying and singing.....
"What thanks can I render Thee..."
O My Creator, my God, as of today,
You have gifted me with a full sixty seven years of life.
Sixty seven years ago, on a Thursday like today, you brought me forth into this world.
O My God, I thank You for the wonder of my being!
Thank You, my God, my Creator!
For loving me unconditionally,
For keep loving me unceasingly,
For keep caring for me untiringly,
Despite my seemingly unending ungratefulness!
You, O my Creator, my God, You did co-opt my parents in forming and in shaping me, in bearing and in bringing me forth, right?
O my Mother, you were thrilled to know that a new human life was being formed in you.
From my Father I come to know, especially from the letters he wrote me over the years, that you both were very happy when you conceived me.
Both of you prayed and hoped, wanted and wished to have a baby boy as you already had a daughter.
Mother, almost, all through your confinement, you did not enjoy the best of health, though the treatment and medicines you got from the village physician kept the infections at bay.
And you, my Mother, you brought me into the world on a Thursday noon, sixty seven years ago, right?
Thank you, Mother!
As my Father told me when the village midwife came out from the tiny make shift labor room in our ancestral home and said,
"It's a boy!"
my Father and all the rest in the family were happy.
O my Mother, my Father, both of you were happy and proud of your baby boy, right?
After giving me birth your infections got the better of you. In spite of the best available medical attention you got, your health deteriorated.
And after being together with me just for forty one days, Mother, you said goodbye to me as you were called back by the Lord.
It was a sort of Hello and Goodbye for me!
Hello to the New World!
And Goodbye to you, Mother!
I have often asked myself:
Why wasn't I called back right away by the Lord instead of you?
Why coudn't have I gone, instead of you?
After all, I had just arrived!
And I could have gone back just as I came.
Mother, at that ime, you were needed much more than myself, right?
No one outside our family
knew me, while you were known and loved by many.
You had a husband and a three year old daughter to be taken care of, right, Mother?
Besides, you had your own parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, and acquaintances who loved you much.
So I thought and still keep thinking so.
Mother, it would have been better in many ways for you to stay and for me to go!
But that was not to be!
How deep are Your designs , O Lord!
O my Father, what an irony!
You didn't have time enough to rejoice over the birth of your son as your soulmate and wife was called back by the Lord which left you heart broken!
You were shattered!
Ever since the death of your soulmate, you started growing your beard, right, my Father? You kept it until you joined her in heaven. Do you still have it?
Come to think of it, you both had just seven years of blissful married life, mixed with joy and sorrow, health and sickenss, right?
Father, I know for certain, that you were a very close couple as I had a chance to see the letters your soulmate wrote you. Remember, you had kept them tucked away along with both of your Wedding Shawls for safe keeping, right?
In one of her letters to you she wanted you to bring her a tin of oats!
As I come to know, in those days oats were available only in medical shops.
It seems she loved it.
And you did get her, didn't you?
Yet in another letter she wanted us, all the three of us, to make a pilgrimage to the tomb of St. Alphonsa, then a Servant of God.
But this was never to be!
My Mother and my Father, those letters and your Wedding Shawls are still with me.
Mother, don't you remember the beautiful four legged wooden box your parents gave you as part of your dowry? I have it with me in my room. I keep your letters and the those Wedding Shawls in them and use your box as a Mini Alter in my room.
I treasure them and hold them dear to my heart.
It makes me real happy, now that you both are reunited for ever in heaven.
And no one can separate you from each other anymore, not even death!
My Mother, my Father, it is a very painful fact that I have disappointed you several times on account of my unbecoming behaviors as a son and as a priest, right? At times, both of you have severely been pained due to my faults and failures.
I am sorry!
I shall keep trying to be a son and a priest of whom both of you can be proud of!
I know for certain that you keep loving me and keep praying for me.
Wait for me! my Mother, my Father, someday, I shalI join you...
And we shall be together...
not just for forty one days...
but for ever!
In the meantime, O Lord, My Creator, I want keep working on the Image You have breathed into me. I want to keep developing Your Image into a full blown Likeness of Yours!
Jesus, My Lord and My God, You know very well that I have a pretty long way to go to bring the best out of the Image and Likeness breathed into me, right?
I want to pray like Francis of Assisi. ( My Mother was called back by the Lord on his Feastday.)
"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
and where there is sadness, joy,
O Divine Master, grant that
I may not so much seek to be consoled,
as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
Amen
Lord, I want to stay silent in Your Presence for a while..
"Speak Lord, your servant is listening.."
Amen
JoAchen
Thursday, August 21, 2014
PS
These Reflections are neither pure exegetical interpretations nor highly theological explanations. They are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth and thereby helping me to come closer to my God and to my fellow humans.
Thank you for reading them.
As I keep holding you in my daily prayers, I request you to include me too in yours.
Thank you,
JoAchen
My Monologues with my Creator and Co-Creators
(Ps 8, 139, Lk 1)
Oh, my God, my Creator, often I ask myself:
Why has He created me?
Along with the Psalmist, I ask in wonder:
" when I look at sky which you have made,
at moon and stars,
which you have set in their places,
What is man, that You think of him;
mere man, that you care for him?"
OH, my God, why on earth and how on earth that You thought of creating me?
In your eternal designs, You found a place for me, didn't You?
"For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb
"When my bones were being formed,
carefully put together in my mother's womb,
When I was growing there in secret,
You knew that I was there-
You saw me before I was born."
Lord, "I praise You
because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.."
O my Creator, You keep telling me as You did to the prophets,
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.."
"I have carved you on the palms of my hands.."
"I have called you by name..you are mine."
You keep telling me, "you are a blessing."
Thank You, my Creator, my God for repeatedly reminding me all these eternal words.
Lord, I just can't express my feelings and thoughts any better than the above words of Your Psalmist and of Your Prophets!
Lord, the more I reflect,
the more I am lost in the wonder of your deliberate designs to form and to fashion me in Your own Image and Likeness!
Lord, You created me out of your unfathomable love, right?
You found a place for me on Your beautiful Earth. Though I am just one among the tens of thousands of billions of your children, You thought of and planned to create me, right?
And You did!
And You keep on sustaining me with Your love ever since I was born. Thank You!
Again with the Psalmist,
let me keep saying and singing.....
"What thanks can I render Thee..."
O My Creator, my God, as of today,
You have gifted me with a full sixty seven years of life.
Sixty seven years ago, on a Thursday like today, you brought me forth into this world.
O My God, I thank You for the wonder of my being!
Thank You, my God, my Creator!
For loving me unconditionally,
For keep loving me unceasingly,
For keep caring for me untiringly,
Despite my seemingly unending ungratefulness!
You, O my Creator, my God, You did co-opt my parents in forming and in shaping me, in bearing and in bringing me forth, right?
O my Mother, you were thrilled to know that a new human life was being formed in you.
From my Father I come to know, especially from the letters he wrote me over the years, that you both were very happy when you conceived me.
Both of you prayed and hoped, wanted and wished to have a baby boy as you already had a daughter.
Mother, almost, all through your confinement, you did not enjoy the best of health, though the treatment and medicines you got from the village physician kept the infections at bay.
And you, my Mother, you brought me into the world on a Thursday noon, sixty seven years ago, right?
Thank you, Mother!
As my Father told me when the village midwife came out from the tiny make shift labor room in our ancestral home and said,
"It's a boy!"
my Father and all the rest in the family were happy.
O my Mother, my Father, both of you were happy and proud of your baby boy, right?
After giving me birth your infections got the better of you. In spite of the best available medical attention you got, your health deteriorated.
And after being together with me just for forty one days, Mother, you said goodbye to me as you were called back by the Lord.
It was a sort of Hello and Goodbye for me!
Hello to the New World!
And Goodbye to you, Mother!
I have often asked myself:
Why wasn't I called back right away by the Lord instead of you?
Why coudn't have I gone, instead of you?
After all, I had just arrived!
And I could have gone back just as I came.
Mother, at that ime, you were needed much more than myself, right?
No one outside our family
knew me, while you were known and loved by many.
You had a husband and a three year old daughter to be taken care of, right, Mother?
Besides, you had your own parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, and acquaintances who loved you much.
So I thought and still keep thinking so.
Mother, it would have been better in many ways for you to stay and for me to go!
But that was not to be!
How deep are Your designs , O Lord!
O my Father, what an irony!
You didn't have time enough to rejoice over the birth of your son as your soulmate and wife was called back by the Lord which left you heart broken!
You were shattered!
Ever since the death of your soulmate, you started growing your beard, right, my Father? You kept it until you joined her in heaven. Do you still have it?
Come to think of it, you both had just seven years of blissful married life, mixed with joy and sorrow, health and sickenss, right?
Father, I know for certain, that you were a very close couple as I had a chance to see the letters your soulmate wrote you. Remember, you had kept them tucked away along with both of your Wedding Shawls for safe keeping, right?
In one of her letters to you she wanted you to bring her a tin of oats!
As I come to know, in those days oats were available only in medical shops.
It seems she loved it.
And you did get her, didn't you?
Yet in another letter she wanted us, all the three of us, to make a pilgrimage to the tomb of St. Alphonsa, then a Servant of God.
But this was never to be!
My Mother and my Father, those letters and your Wedding Shawls are still with me.
Mother, don't you remember the beautiful four legged wooden box your parents gave you as part of your dowry? I have it with me in my room. I keep your letters and the those Wedding Shawls in them and use your box as a Mini Alter in my room.
I treasure them and hold them dear to my heart.
It makes me real happy, now that you both are reunited for ever in heaven.
And no one can separate you from each other anymore, not even death!
My Mother, my Father, it is a very painful fact that I have disappointed you several times on account of my unbecoming behaviors as a son and as a priest, right? At times, both of you have severely been pained due to my faults and failures.
I am sorry!
I shall keep trying to be a son and a priest of whom both of you can be proud of!
I know for certain that you keep loving me and keep praying for me.
Wait for me! my Mother, my Father, someday, I shalI join you...
And we shall be together...
not just for forty one days...
but for ever!
In the meantime, O Lord, My Creator, I want keep working on the Image You have breathed into me. I want to keep developing Your Image into a full blown Likeness of Yours!
Jesus, My Lord and My God, You know very well that I have a pretty long way to go to bring the best out of the Image and Likeness breathed into me, right?
I want to pray like Francis of Assisi. ( My Mother was called back by the Lord on his Feastday.)
"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
and where there is sadness, joy,
O Divine Master, grant that
I may not so much seek to be consoled,
as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
Amen
Lord, I want to stay silent in Your Presence for a while..
"Speak Lord, your servant is listening.."
Amen
JoAchen
Thursday, August 21, 2014
PS
These Reflections are neither pure exegetical interpretations nor highly theological explanations. They are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth and thereby helping me to come closer to my God and to my fellow humans.
Thank you for reading them.
As I keep holding you in my daily prayers, I request you to include me too in yours.
Thank you,
JoAchen
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