Friday 26 September 2014

2. My Monologues with sons of Zebedee

My Monologues 2

My Monologues with the sons of Zebedee

Dear disciples, James and John, from the Gospel accounts I come to know that you both have a very close and compact family blessed in many ways. 
Your father, Zebedee, is presented as a hardworking and enterprising fisherman who owned at least one fishing boat and employed more than one worker. 
You both worked along with your father and had built up a successful family business, right? 
Some think that your father supplied fish to the high and mighty in Jerusalem and also owned a house in that capital city, and even your father personally knew Caiaphas, the High Priest.
Your mother,(Salome?) wanted you both to climb up the ladder of power and position. You both enlisted her support and entreated Jesus for the privileged position in His Kingdom.
It is heartening to see that you both had a very healthy relationship with your father and had a very personal and persuasive closeness to your mother. 
She must have been a very courageous woman so as to walk up to Jesus and to make the request for that privileged position for her sons.

To some extend I feel envious of your closely knit family. 
You both are real fortunate and blessed to have a healthy childhood enjoying the loving presence and caring love and support of your parents, right? 

Looking at my life, my father was a hard working farmer but depressed after the untimely death of his wife and my mother. I wasn’t even two months old when we lost her. Now you know why am I a bit envious of you! 

Yet I am glad for you that you had a happy family and a healthy childhood.
The Lord must have liked your hardworking, ambitious, and forthright approach to life.
No wonder, He groomed you both to be a part of His Inner Circle along with Peter. Though the Lord did deny your request, you both stuck with him as He helped you to grow and see the stark realities of life. 
He helped you both and you cooperated with Him, right?
And as a result, your relationship with the Master grew closer and deeper.

Once, along with your Master, on your way to Jerusalem, when the inhospitable Samaritans blocked your Master’s way, you wished and wanted Fire from heaven to come down and set them ablaze, right? 

As I look back to into my past, i have had tones instances where i was intolerant to people and to ideas which were opposed or even different from mine.
I did make known my intolerance through rough words and rude actions.
I brook no opposition...so much for me!

On a number of important occasions you both were there with your Master, right?.
You both were there with Him, when He raised the daughter of Jairus, right? 
You both were with Him to experience the glory of Transfiguration, right?
You both were with Him to see Him in His Agonizing Hours in Gethsemane, right?
You never, even in your wildest of dreams, thought that your desire to sit at right and left of your Master would take you to Gethsemane and Calvary, did you?

Though Jesus, your Master had turned down your request, you did get neither angry nor depressed.
Otherwise you both wouldn't have followed Him, right?
You would have rather left him.
You both accepted His call and followed Him for over three plus years, right?
And your approach to life got changed, right?

I am amazed at the way you both followed him to Gethsemane and accepted the tragic realities of Calvary. 
You both grew by leaps and bounds out of your initial unbridled ambition.
You both grew out of your inclination to violence in the face of obstacles and opposition.

Looking into myself, though close to becoming a seventy year old priest, 
my growth is rather stunt, 
my dreams are still infantile,
and am often addicted to and stuck with my selfish ambition.

I want to grow up like you even in this sun set years of my life.
I want to go through and grow up through my Gethsemane and Calvary and experiences and enjoy the bliss of Transfiguration and Resurrection.

Lord Jesus, You never ever scolded them for their raw ambition and indignant intolerance of their youth.
Instead, you accepted them patiently and helped them grow by challenging them to drink the cup, the cup of suffering.
And they did!

Lord Jesus, while you were patient with them just for three plus years,
in my case you had been accepting me 
and had been patient with me well close to Seventy years!
Incredible indeed!

While James and John kept growing up fast,
my growth is still at a snail’s pace!
While they grew from ambitious disciples to ardent apostles, 
I am still struggling to be a disciple! 
That”s most of me!!!

Lord Jesus, thank You for being patient with me all along these years of my life.
As i look back, innumerable are the occasions when You had shown immense patience for me, right?
Time and again You had been very patient with my unbecoming behaviors.
You continue to be patient with me even now.

You, haven’t given up on me, have You?
I know, You haven’t..
It makes me humble and keep challenging me to keep growing at a faster pace. 
I better speed up as I am in the last lap of life..
I shall..

Lord, now, I wish to spend sometime in silence and listen to, 
what you to speak to me.
You must have a lot to tell me, right?

“Speak Lord, Your servant is listening”

Dear disciples James and John, 
after listening to the Lord I want to listen to you as well…
keep telling me your story of your transforming growth..
Amen

JoAchen
July 21, 2014, anticipating the Feast of James Zebedee

PS
These Reflections are neither pure exegetical interpretations nor highly theological explanations. They are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth and thereby helping me to come closer to my God and to my fellow humans.

Thank you for reading them.

As I keep holding you in my daily prayers, I request you to include me in yours.
Thank you,
JoAchen

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