18/16 My Monologues & Musings : Unmerciful Servant (Mt18)
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
How could you ever be so heartless, cruel, cut and dry to your own servant who owed you just a hundred Denarii?
Remember, a few minutes ago, you were forgiven by your King to the tune of about 600,000 Denarii, right?
Remember, Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
You were, so to say, crawling and groveling right in the presence of your King who had ordered you and your family to be thrown into prison until the debt you owed him.is fully paid back.
Don't you, remember?
Remember, Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
Just as your servant pleaded and begged for mercy, you too did make a similar plea, may be, a more dramatic one.
Have you forgotten it?
If so, how could you?
Remember, Oh, Unforgiving Servant,
You hadn't begged for the cancellation of your debt.You had only pleaded for some more time to reimburse the amount, right?
Wasn’t a ploy to buy time?
How could you ever have payed back such an enormous amount even if you were granted more time as per your request?
It was next to impossible, right?
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
Most probably your King was fully aware of all these raw realities.Yet he went out of his way and had compassion on you and wrote off the entire debt you owed him, running into an enormous amount, didn't he?
Wasn't it a real surprise for you?
Wasn't it a totally unexpected gift which was far beyond the wildest of your imaginations, right?
It must have been mind boggling, right?
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
Weren't you happy?
The parable doesn't mention you being very happy and jumping around shouting with joy, praising God, like the blind man who got healed and could see!
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
After having got your huge debt cancelled, as you were returning,
What was your emotional state?
Were you in a happy mood?
Were you in a snobbish mood?
Were you on victorious mood?
Were you in grateful mood?
Remember, Oh, the Unforgiving Servant, You didn't even care to express a word of gratitude to the Compassionate King who wrote off your entire debt, right?
Probably, you didn't even deserve to be forgiven as your own subsequent unmerciful behavior has shown so.
Your inhuman treatment of the servant who owed you a mere hundred Denarii did prove it, right?
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
Don't you think, your King knew you through and through what sort of a person you are?
Most probably, he might have known that you are very mean, right?
Yet he wrote off your debt!
How compassionate he must have been!
Oh, the Honorable, Compassionate King,
How could you ever be so generously forgiving?
Didn't you feel real hurt as your servant betrayed your trust?
Were you that naive to have believed him?
Didn't you know that you are being taken for a ride?
Didn't you know he was a cheat?
Oh, the Honorable, Compassionate King,
The above questions come from a petty mind like mine!
Your thinking is by far, ahead of mine!
Mine is short sighted, indeed.
Your compassion is by far ahead of mine!
Mine is very minimal.
Your generosity is by far greater than mine!
Mine is just a miniscule!
You accepted him as he is with all his street smart, cunning, and cruel ways.
You showered him with compassion and generosity, despite knowing fully well that he is cruel, that he doesn't deserve his debt to be cancelled, right?
You are, in fact, no ordinary earthly King!
You are the symbol of the Merciful Heavenly Father!
You resemble Our Father in heaven, right?
You resonate His immeasurable compassion.
Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
This parable is meant for me too, right?
Countless are the times you have forgiven me:
Freely forgiven me,
unconditionally forgiven me,
Forgiven me though unmerited, right?
Innumerable are my failures :
failures willful,
failures vicious,
failures serious,
failures significant,
failures as a son,
failures as a sibling,
failures as a friend,
failures as a foe,
failures as a seminarian,
failures as a young priest,
failures as a senior priest,
failures as a pastor,
failures as a teacher,
failures of pride,
failures of prejudice,
failures of avarice,
failures of arrogance,
failures of lust,
failures of a lusted life,
failures of revenge,
failures of retaliation,
failures of deceit,
failures of deception,
failures of dishonesty,
failures of denials,
failures of laziness,
failures of a lukewarm life,
failures of an unfaithful life,
failures of an unrepentant life,
failures of unbounded ambition,
failure of insatiable greed,
failures of unbridled addiction,
failures of unhealthy attachments,
failures big, failures small,
failures of thoughts, words, and deeds,
failures from age Seven to Seventy!
You have forgiven me of every one of my failure, right?
Though unmerited,
You forgave me!
Oh, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord!
Grateful indeed I am!
Oh, my Merciful Jesus,
Oh, my Compassionate Jesus,
Oh, my Forgiving Jesus,
You have kept on gifting me with your Unconditional and Total Forgiveness for all of my above failures.
You have forgiven me several times,
You have forgiven me over and again
for one and the same repeated failures, You have forgiven me time and again!
You continue to keep on forgiving me,
Seven times, Seventy times Seven times.
You keep gifting me with your repeated, compassionate, and total forgiveness, don't you, my Lord and my God?
Oh, Jesus my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
Do I deserve your repeated forgiveness?
No way, not at all!!!!
It is your Unconditional gift, indeed!
I do humbly, gratefully acknowledge!
Oh, Jesus my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
Yes, the fruits of your Forgiveness,
I keep on exploiting them repeatedly.
In hindsight, it is so obvious I have neither appreciated nor understood sufficiently enough the depth of your compassion for me and the breadth of your patience with me over the years!
As a result, it hasn't occurred to me the need, the necessity, and the ease to offer forgiveness to my fellow humans who seek it from me and expect of me!
Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
There is a short, sturdy, unforgiving, unmerciful, and an ungrateful Servant alive in me. Every now and then, he does act up in an arrogant way causing much pain to my fellow humans. Despite a priest, I often keep presenting myself a Counter Witness to your immense Patience, to your unlimited Compassion, and to your unconditional Forgiveness.
Oh, Lord, that's me! often enough, that's me!
Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
I want to keep on my struggle to fight the short, sturdy, Ungrateful, and Unforgiving Servant in me. At first, I want to control him and eventually evict him from my life.
Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
Even as I am inching towards the evening of my life, I want keep on forgiving and seek forgiveness from my fellow humans!
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
Both of us, you and me, are at times unwilling and unable to forgive our fellow humans, right? It might be due to our inability to acknowledge and appreciate the forgiveness of the Lord which we keep getting and we keep having, right?
Sad indeed is our situation.
Pathetic indeed is our condition, right?
Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,
How long will it take for us to relish on the divine forgiveness and then pass it on to our fellow humans as and when necessary?
Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,
I want to keep gratefully recalling the innumerable instances of forgiveness you have been gifting me with. I want to keep relishing them. I want to draw from them the much needed strength and inspiration and in my turn keep gifting forgiveness to my fellow humans.
Lord, bless all those who have gifted me with their forgiveness.
Help me to have the humility and generosity to reach out in forgiveness to all those whom I should!
Oh, Lord, above all, everyday,
I want to rise up in the morning and retire at night with a grateful heart, with a forgiving mind and heart.
Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank you, the Father and the Spirit,
For your:
Unsolicited gift of life for me!
Uncountable Blessings for me!
Unlimited Patience with me!
Untold Forgiveness for me!
Unflinching faith in me!
Unfailing Hope in me!
Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Monday, 18th January, 2016
Joachenmonologues@gmail.com PS
Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my, 'Prodigal Priest's' journaling on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father.
As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!
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