56 My Monologues : Widow's Mite ( Lk 21)
Oh, dear Widowed Sister,
You must have been through a lot in life, right?
Your mind and heart must have been clouded with an assortment of thoughts and feelings as you were making your pilgrimage to the Temple to pray and offer your life's savings, right?
I would be delighted and would be more than honoured to listen to them.
Would you, please, share them with me?
......
"Sure, I am glad to share with you the thoughts and feelings which were passing through my mind and heart!
I love to come and pray in the Temple in Jerusalem, our Holiest Place of Prayer and Whorship on earth.
Every time I walk up to the Temple my childhood memories of pilgrimages pop up in my mind.
Along with our parents, we children made our annual pilgrimage to the Temple.
They were always a very memorable experience.
As kids, we were fascinated with the big, beautiful, white gleaming white marble Temple, which was the pride of every Jew.
They various worship and the liturgical ceremonies like chanting of Psalms, reading from the Sacred Scriptures, the various types of Sacrifices like the Burnt Offerings, Animal Sacrifices etc. really kept the pilgrims and the faithful busy.
There were always hectic activities going on in the Temple premises....
When I got married, my husband and myself made our annual pilgrimages along with other extended family members.
We prayed for ourselves.
We prayed to Yaweh to bless us with kids and long happy life together.
But Alas!
The untimely death of my husband shattered every dream we had been nurturing!
I was in total shock!
I kept asking myself,
What I did I do to be punished like this?
What did I do to be condemned a widow for the rest of my life!
In our culture the widows were looked down upon!
The wife was somehow blamed for the death of her husband.
So I often felt guilty...
Yet I knew deep down within me that I haven't done anything greviously wrong to be so cruelly punished.
Oh, Yahweh, Aodnai,
Why do You punish me so hard?
Don't You see, I am reduced to be an object of curse and redicule?
Why did you let my marriage to take place and allow me to indulge in dreaming of becoming a good housewife and mother?
Oh, Yahweh Adonai,
You knew fully well I would be reduced to a widow for the rest of my life, didn’t You?
Why do you inflict so severe a punishment lasting for the rest of my life?
As far as I know except for the usual minor faults and failures,
I haven't comitted anything so big a sin or a crime to be punished so severely, You know it, don't You?
I was very angry and bitter about being a widow.
And I cursed myself!
I cried a lot..
and I wept for days and months.
I didn’t want go on living any longer...
I was very much distraught.
Yet slowly and steadily,
I stopped to look only into myself.
As I started to look around and saw other women whose conditions were by far worse than mine..
I saw mothers whose sons and daughters dying of sickness.
I felt sorry for them..
I saw husbands getting killed due to the fights and wars and thus reducing their wives to widows like me!
I did gather enough strength to listen to their pain and tried to console them.
The fact that I am not the only one to suffer made me more strong and less bitter towards life.
I saw kids who were orphaned as thier parents got killed mercilessly in the tribal / feudal fights..
I tried to reach out to them with the motherly care which I had never a chance to share.
After a long time I was able to raise my mind and heart to Yahweh Adonai and pray for these orphans and widows!
I never thought:
I would ever pray again!
But I did!
Incredible, indeed!
I just can't believe myself doing it!
It was long pain filled years,
restless years, rediculed years!
I was certain my life was over with the death of my husband.
Everyday life of a widow was a burden..
I had wished many a times for death to come and take me too!
But no more!
I want to live!
I want to live for the widows like me finding solace and support from each other.
I want to live offering my time and energy for the fellow- widows and orphans.
Once again, I am happy to come to the Temple.
I want to keep thanking my Yahweh, Adonai for renewing my life and for rekindling hope in me.
I want to keep singing His praise.
I want to offer Him all that I have, the whole of life and all of my savings...
my humble Mite!
Unnoticed and unassuming I want to keep on living and singing the praise of Yahweh, Adonai and serving my fellow humans especially the ones who are less fortunate like me!
I want to keep on living joyfully and gratefully until the day He calls me too...."
Dear Widowed Sister,
I am amazed by your total and sacrificial giving.
Your positive attitude towards life does inspire me.
May your grateful living and total giving be a source of constant strength for me.
Thank you, dear Widowed Sister, for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
You do fully deserve the unsolicited and unexpected attention and appreciation Jesus, the Son of Yahweh lavished on you.
How I wish to learn from your total turn around from sorrow to joy and from disappointment to hope!
How I wish to emulate your total giving and your unassuming ways at least in a miniscule manner!
May every widow find strength to face tragedies and meaning and hope to keep on living!
May Yahweh Adonai and His Son, Jesus the Savior continue to protect them!
Dear Jesus,
You took time to notice the humble offering of the widow and highlight it.
You were impressed with her life of total giving in total contrast to the huge amount offered by the rich!
In contrast, I often am attracted to and impressed by the contribution of the rich and famous.
I also tend to grab the attention of other of others whenever I do something good.
I tend to crave for publicity!
I tend to hold back from total sharing of the blessings and gifts you have showered on me.
Be it, my time, my attention, my talents, and my resources, I am very sparing 'to put them lin the coffer.'
When unpleasant things happen in my life I keep on complaining and grumbling.
How I wish to emulate the attitude of the widow you praised!
I want to keep trying in my own little ways..
Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I want to spend some time in silence in your presence thanking you for all the blessings in my life and resolving to emulate the attitudes of the Widowed Sister!
Amen
JoAchen
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015÷
Joachenmonologues@gmail.com
www.my-monologoues.blogspot.com
Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. These are my devotional meditations
mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of the journaling of a 'Prodigal Priest' on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father. You are welcome to share them with me.
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