47 My Monologues : The Prodigal Son ( Lk 15 )

47 My Monologues: The Prodigal Son ( Lk 15 )

"Oh, No!

How haughty have I been in my thinking!

How arrogant have I been in my talking!

How cruel have I been in my behaving!

How adamant have been in my demands!

This was me a few months ago, wild indeed, i was a mini monster! a raving rascal!

A bull headed boy bullying his father  

A stubborn teenager wanting his ways!

I kept on pestering and nagging my father

To part with my share of inheritance.

I was fed up with the routine farm life.

I felt no more at home living with my father.

As I sit here in the stinking pig sty trying

to stuff my starving stomach with pig's pod, My mind flashbacked to my childhood days.

To my sweet home, to my parents, brother.

That was the time when I enjoyed my home.

Where I felt the warmth of parental love.

There was fun and frolic, laughter and joy.

There was parental pats and corrections.

Active I was, outgoing and outspoken I was,

Adventurous I was, full of life and zest I was, My Father loved me and very caring he was,

He dreamed big for me, proud of me he was.

Slowly i got changed, changed for worse.

I became moody, easily annoyed, agitated.

I was grumbling and complaining often

I wasn't even aware of my wayward ways!

Once a sweet home I turned it into a hell.

No more laughter, no more joyous gathering

I went around spitting spiteful mouthfuls.

I was possessed by arrogance and anger.

I was obsessed with a single minded urge,

An urge to escape from the confinement of

Dos, don'ts, and of everyday stale routine

In my obsessive thoughts,I wanted to be out

My rebellious ego seemingly felt my Hitherto tender father turning tyrannical.

Everyone seemed to be against me.

I was becoming a sort of paranoid!

Oh, free at last! I felt finally free!

When my father yielded to my demand!

As he partitioned the ancestral inheritance

And gave my share, I felt  finally free!

Finally I got what I wanted and off I went

Triumphant and boastful, I went

Feeling free and emboldened, I went

Wanting and vowing never to return, I went.

With funds unlimited, fiends flocked,

Fun galore, pleasures and partying plenty,

Never had it so good, never was I so happy!

I thought the fun-filled days are for ever.

As money diminished friends disappeared

Not a penny to spend even for a meager meal

Hungry I was, famished I became,

Lonely i was, abandoned I felt.

Job I found in a piggery to work, me a Jew!

Pangs of hunger forced me to feed on the Pod of pigs, even that was scarce!

Thought of the servants at home, the food!

What have I become? Why am I here?

How did I end up as miserable as I am?

Who could I blame except my very Self?

For my sorry state and for my sordid tale!

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!

It's my fault, my fault, my grievous fault?

I will get up and go back and tell my father

Father, I have sinned!

Went I back, with a guilt-ridden conscience,

With a heavy heart, with restless mind

Expecting severe scolding and zero sympathy,

From a deeply hurt father and family.

Seeing me from afar, my Father came  rushing to me, hugged me, kissed me!

With tear filled eyes, choking with emotion

My Father neither scolded nor blamed me!

Oh, my Father,

How could you have forgiven me?

Forgiven me so totally, so unconditionally?

How could you have forgiven me?ò

Forgiven me without any hurt feelings?

Oh, my Father,

You never scolded me when I came back!

You never punished for my wayward ways.

I did expect it as I did deserve every bit!

As I am guilty, guilty to the core

Oh, my Father,

Instead of scolding me, punishing me,

You clothed me with the best of robes

You placed a ring on my finger,

You made me wear sandals!

Oh, my Father,

How could you erase all those painful Memories of all the awful things that

I said and did to you, those unkind words

And ungrateful deeds wounding your heart!

Oh, my Father,

How deep must have been your love me!

Despite hurting you so deep and so bad,

You continue to love me unconditionally

Your all forgiving love amazes me!

Oh, my Father,

I was lost in my own selfish world

I was caught up in my myopic world,

I was blinded by my own arrogance.

So I was unable to savor your love

Oh, my Father,

Thank you for being my Father,

Thank you for forbearing love

Thank you for your forgiving love

Thank you for continuing to love me.

Oh, my Father,

May all the fathers on earth be like you!

May all the sons on earth be unlike me!

May all the fathers on earth have a very

Happy  Father's Day!"

Dear loving Jesus,

Thank you for sharing the story

Thank you for reminding me of the

Unconditional love the Heavenly Father

Who keeps forgiving me on and on!

Dear loving Jesus,

Thank you for giving me own father!

As you know, I too have hurt my father

Dear loving father, thank you for loving me

Despite my repeated hurting behaviours

You kept on loving me! Thank you!

Wish you a very very Happy Father's Day

Up in heaven above!

Dear loving Jesus,

I have sinned against the A Loving Father

Over and again I have run away from Him!

I want to keep returning every time I do so,

Until the day I stay with you for ever!

Dear Jesus,  My Lord and My God,

I want spend some time in silence in your presence thanking:

You, the Father and and the Spirit!

For your unlimited, unconditional live

for me. Amen

JoAchen

Sunday, 21st June, 2015

Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. These are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my  personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of the journaling of a 'Prodigal Priest' on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father.

You are welcome to share them with me.
Dear Reader, I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours.

I plan on uploading a Reflection each on 7th, 14th, 21st, and on the 28th of every month.
Thank you!