28 My Monologues with the Unforgiving Servant (Mt18) Part Two

28 My Monologues with the Unforgiving Servant (Mt18)  Part Two

Oh,  the Unforgiving Servant,

How could you ever be so heartless, cruel, cut and dry to your servant who owed you just a hundred Denarii?  

Remember, a few minutes  ago, you were forgiven by your King to the tune of about 600,000 Denarii, right?

Remember, Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

You were, so to say, crawling and groveling right in the presence of your King who had ordered you and your family to be thrown into prison.

Don't you, remember?

Remember, Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

Just as your servant pleaded and begged for mercy, you too did make a similar plea, may be, a more dramatic one.

Have you forgotten it?

If so, how could you?

Remember, Oh, Unforgiving Servant,

You hadn't begged for the cancellation of your debt.You had only pleaded for some more time to reimburse the amount, right?

Was it a ploy to buy time?

How could you ever have payed back such an enormous amount even if you were granted more time as per your request?

It was next to impossible, right?

Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

Most probably your King was fully aware of all these raw realities.Yet he went out of his way and had compassion on you and wrote off the entire debt you owed him, running into an enormous amount, didn't he?

Wasn't it a real surprise for you?

Wasn't it a totally unexpected gift which was far beyond the wildest of your imaginations, right?

It must have been mind boggling, right?

Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

Weren't you happy?

The parable doesn't mention you being very happy and jumping around shouting with joy, praising God, like the blind man who got healed and could see!

Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

After having got your huge debt cancelled, as you were returning,

What was your emotional state?

Were you in a happy mood?

Were you in grateful mood?

Were you in a snobbish mood?

Were you in a smugy mood?

Were you on victorious mood?

Remember, Oh, the Unforgiving Servant, You didn't even care to express a word of gratitude to the Compassionate King who wrote off your entire debt, right?

Probably, you didn't even deserve to be forgiven as your own subsequent unmerciful behavior has shown so.

Your inhuman treatment of the servant who owed you a mere hundred Denarii did prove it, right?

Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

Don't you think, your King knew you through and through and the sort of the person you are?

Most probably, he might have!

Yet he wrote off your debt!

How compassionate he must have been!

Oh, the Honorable, Compassionate King,

How could you ever be so generously forgiving?

Didn't you feel real hurt as your servant betrayed your trust?

Were you that naive to have believed him?

Didn't you know that you are being taken for a ride?

Didn't you know he was a cheat?

Oh, the Honorable, Compassionate King,

The above questions come from a petty mind like mine!

Your thinking is by far, ahead of mine!

Mine is short sighted, indeed.

Your compassion is by far ahead of mine!

Mine is very minimal.

Your generosity is by far greater than mine!  

Mine is just a miniscule!

You accepted him as he is with all his street smart, cunning, and cruel ways.

You showered him with compassion and  generosity.

You are, in fact, no ordinary earthly King!

You are the symbol of the Heavenly Father!

You resemble Our Father in heaven, right?

You resonate His immeasurable compassion.

Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,

This parable is meant for me too, right?

Countless are the times you have forgiven me, freely forgiven me,

unconditionally forgiven me, right?

Innumerable are the instances of my failures, failures willful, failures vicious,

failures serious, failures significant,

failures as a son, failures as a sibling,

failures as a friend, failures as a foe, failures as a seminarian, failures as a young priest, failures as a senior priest, failures as a pastor, failures as a teacher,

failures of pride, failures of prejudice,

failures of avarice, failures of arrogance, failures of lust, failures of a lusted life,

failures of revenge, failures of retaliation,

failures of deceit, failures of deception,

failures of dishonesty, failures of denials,

failures of laziness, failures of a lukewarm life,

failures of an unfaithful, an unrepentant life,

failures of unbounded ambition and greed,

failures of unbridled addiction and attachments,

failures big, failures small,

failures of thoughts, words, and deeds,

failures from age Seven to near Seventy!

You have forgiven me of every one of my failure, right?

Oh, my Forgiving Lord!

Grateful indeed I am!

Oh, Compassionate, Forgiving Jesus,

You have kept on gifting me with your Forgiveness for all of my above failures.

You have forgiven me several times,

You have forgiven me over and again

for one and the same repeated failures, you have forgiven me time and again!

You continue to keep on forgiving me,

Seven times, Seventy times Seven times. You keep gifting me with your repeated, compassionate, and total forgiveness, don't you, my Lord and my God?

Oh, Jesus my  Merciful, Forgiving Lord,

Do I deserve your repeated forgiveness?

No way, not at all!!!!

It is your Unconditional gift, indeed!

I do humbly, gratefully acknowledge!

Oh, Jesus my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,

Yes, the fruits of your Forgiveness,

I keep on exploiting them repeatedly.

In hindsight, it is so obvious I have neither appreciated nor understood sufficiently enough the depth of your compassion for me and the breadth of your patience with me over the years!

As a result, it hasn't occurred to me the need, the necessity, and the ease to offer forgiveness to my fellow humans who seek it from me and expect of me!

Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,

There is a short, sturdy, unforgiving, unmerciful, and an ungrateful Servant alive in me. Every now and then, he does act up in an arrogant way causing much pain to my fellow humans. Despite a priest, I often keep presenting myself a Counter Witness to your immense Patience, to your unlimited Compassion, and to your unconditional Forgiveness.

Oh, Lord, that's me! often enough, that's me!

Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,  

I want to keep on my struggle to fight the short, sturdy, Ungrateful, and Unforgiving Servant in me. At first, I want to control him and eventually evict him from my life.

Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,

Even as I am inching towards the evening of my life, I want keep on forgiving and seek forgiveness from my fellow humans!

Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

Both of us, you and me, are at times  unwilling and unable to forgive our fellow humans, right? It might be due to our inability to acknowledge and appreciate the forgiveness of the Lord which we keep getting and we keep having, right?

Sad indeed is our situation.

Pathetic indeed is our condition, right?

Oh, the Unforgiving Servant,

How long will it take for us to relish on the divine forgiveness and then pass it on  to our fellow humans as and when necessary?

Let me share with you one of my unforgettable experiences as a thirteen year old adolescent school boy. In our village school we had a very young and handsome male teacher who taught us Bookbinding and Bookkeeping. He was in love with an equally young and beautiful lady teacher.

In those days, i, e, half a century ago, it was all arranged marriages. Falling in love, dating, courting, etc was rarest of the rare cases. So it was the hush-hush talk among us students. It so happened during one of his classes some of us amused ourselves with an on the spot drawn cartoon of the love pair on a piece of paper. As we were passing it around among ourselves we were caught. Unfortunately I was spotted with the piece of paper in my hand. Oh, boy, I was a nervous wreck. He asked me to meet him in the Staff Room. Sure I was scared and expected a through verbal thrashing besides other punitive actions like reporting to my father etc. Scared,  I walked in, expecting him to be furious, but  to my great surprise, he was calm. He told me that I could be taken to the Headmaster and make it real rough for me. He said he would forgive this time and he tore up the paper with the cartoon and he burned it right in front of me! Oh, boy, it was incredible indeed! I couldn't believe my eyes and ears! His gesture of forgiveness did touch the heart and mind of me, a thirteen year old adolescent boy!

This was an event about a half century ago, taking place in a rather conservative Catholic village school. Any open talk about romance, sex etc. were a taboo!

Though,  a co-ed school, it was a strictly gender segregated.This incident has been quite memorable for me. I began to have respect and affection for him and used to visit him even after becoming a priest. He could have made my life of a thirteen year old student miserable. I was saved from being presented as a bad boy. I was and I am grateful to the teacher concerned for gifting me with this memorable experience of forgiveness.

Jesus, my Merciful, Forgiving Lord,

I want to keep gratefully recalling the innumerable instances of forgiveness you have been gifting me with. I want to keep relishing them. I want to draw from them the much needed strength and inspiration and in my turn keep gifting forgiveness to my fellow humans.

Lord, bless all those who have gifted me with their forgiveness.

Help me to have the humility and generosity to reach out in forgiveness to all those whom I should!

Oh, Lord, above all, everyday, I want to rise up in the morning and retire at night with a grateful heart, with a forgiving thought.

Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I want to spend some time in silence in Your Presence recalling the recent instances of your gracious gifts of forgiveness you have gifted me with

as well as my fellow humans have given me.

Amen

JoAchen

Saturday, February 7th, 2015

joachenmonologues@gmail.com

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PS
Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my, 'Prodigal Priest's' journaling on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father. You are welcome to share them.
Dear Reader, I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours.

I plan on uploading a Reflection each on 7th, 14th, 21st, and on the 28th of every month. If you do not want get these Reflections via email, please send a note and your email id will be deleted from the mailing list.

Thank you!

My  Lord and My God!