47 My Monologues : The Prodigal Son ( Lk 15 )

47 My Monologues: The Prodigal Son ( Lk 15 )

"Oh, No!

How haughty have I been in my thinking!

How arrogant have I been in my talking!

How cruel have I been in my behaving!

How adamant have been in my demands!

This was me a few months ago, wild indeed, i was a mini monster! a raving rascal!

A bull headed boy bullying his father  

A stubborn teenager wanting his ways!

I kept on pestering and nagging my father

To part with my share of inheritance.

I was fed up with the routine farm life.

I felt no more at home living with my father.

As I sit here in the stinking pig sty trying

to stuff my starving stomach with pig's pod, My mind flashbacked to my childhood days.

To my sweet home, to my parents, brother.

That was the time when I enjoyed my home.

Where I felt the warmth of parental love.

There was fun and frolic, laughter and joy.

There was parental pats and corrections.

Active I was, outgoing and outspoken I was,

Adventurous I was, full of life and zest I was, My Father loved me and very caring he was,

He dreamed big for me, proud of me he was.

Slowly i got changed, changed for worse.

I became moody, easily annoyed, agitated.

I was grumbling and complaining often

I wasn't even aware of my wayward ways!

Once a sweet home I turned it into a hell.

No more laughter, no more joyous gathering

I went around spitting spiteful mouthfuls.

I was possessed by arrogance and anger.

I was obsessed with a single minded urge,

An urge to escape from the confinement of

Dos, don'ts, and of everyday stale routine

In my obsessive thoughts,I wanted to be out

My rebellious ego seemingly felt my Hitherto tender father turning tyrannical.

Everyone seemed to be against me.

I was becoming a sort of paranoid!

Oh, free at last! I felt finally free!

When my father yielded to my demand!

As he partitioned the ancestral inheritance

And gave my share, I felt  finally free!

Finally I got what I wanted and off I went

Triumphant and boastful, I went

Feeling free and emboldened, I went

Wanting and vowing never to return, I went.

With funds unlimited, fiends flocked,

Fun galore, pleasures and partying plenty,

Never had it so good, never was I so happy!

I thought the fun-filled days are for ever.

As money diminished friends disappeared

Not a penny to spend even for a meager meal

Hungry I was, famished I became,

Lonely i was, abandoned I felt.

Job I found in a piggery to work, me a Jew!

Pangs of hunger forced me to feed on the Pod of pigs, even that was scarce!

Thought of the servants at home, the food!

What have I become? Why am I here?

How did I end up as miserable as I am?

Who could I blame except my very Self?

For my sorry state and for my sordid tale!

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!

It's my fault, my fault, my grievous fault?

I will get up and go back and tell my father

Father, I have sinned!

Went I back, with a guilt-ridden conscience,

With a heavy heart, with restless mind

Expecting severe scolding and zero sympathy,

From a deeply hurt father and family.

Seeing me from afar, my Father came  rushing to me, hugged me, kissed me!

With tear filled eyes, choking with emotion

My Father neither scolded nor blamed me!

Oh, my Father,

How could you have forgiven me?

Forgiven me so totally, so unconditionally?

How could you have forgiven me?ò

Forgiven me without any hurt feelings?

Oh, my Father,

You never scolded me when I came back!

You never punished for my wayward ways.

I did expect it as I did deserve every bit!

As I am guilty, guilty to the core

Oh, my Father,

Instead of scolding me, punishing me,

You clothed me with the best of robes

You placed a ring on my finger,

You made me wear sandals!

Oh, my Father,

How could you erase all those painful Memories of all the awful things that

I said and did to you, those unkind words

And ungrateful deeds wounding your heart!

Oh, my Father,

How deep must have been your love me!

Despite hurting you so deep and so bad,

You continue to love me unconditionally

Your all forgiving love amazes me!

Oh, my Father,

I was lost in my own selfish world

I was caught up in my myopic world,

I was blinded by my own arrogance.

So I was unable to savor your love

Oh, my Father,

Thank you for being my Father,

Thank you for forbearing love

Thank you for your forgiving love

Thank you for continuing to love me.

Oh, my Father,

May all the fathers on earth be like you!

May all the sons on earth be unlike me!

May all the fathers on earth have a very

Happy  Father's Day!"

Dear loving Jesus,

Thank you for sharing the story

Thank you for reminding me of the

Unconditional love the Heavenly Father

Who keeps forgiving me on and on!

Dear loving Jesus,

Thank you for giving me own father!

As you know, I too have hurt my father

Dear loving father, thank you for loving me

Despite my repeated hurting behaviours

You kept on loving me! Thank you!

Wish you a very very Happy Father's Day

Up in heaven above!

Dear loving Jesus,

I have sinned against the A Loving Father

Over and again I have run away from Him!

I want to keep returning every time I do so,

Until the day I stay with you for ever!

Dear Jesus,  My Lord and My God,

I want spend some time in silence in your presence thanking:

You, the Father and and the Spirit!

For your unlimited, unconditional live

for me. Amen

JoAchen

Sunday, 21st June, 2015

Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. These are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my  personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of the journaling of a 'Prodigal Priest' on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father.

You are welcome to share them with me.
Dear Reader, I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours.

I plan on uploading a Reflection each on 7th, 14th, 21st, and on the 28th of every month.
Thank you!

46 My Monologues: Father of the Prodigal Son (Lk 15)

"It was agonizingly shocking for me to hear my younger son demanding his share of the ancestral property of the family...

I just couldn't believe my ears..

I couldn't imagine my younger son would make such an uncommon demand.

As per our age old Jewish traditions the ancestral land is passed on to the sons

only after the death of their father.  

I don't know how and why my son could make such an uncommon demand!

I don't know what's wrong with him.

As far as I know he has been rather a happy kid.

He was very active, outgoing, and adventurous.

How could he be so cut and dry?

How could he be so blind and brutal in his demand?

Did he mean that he was impatient with me that I am still alive?

Did he mean that he just couldn't wait until my death so as to have his share of inheritance?

Doesn't he know that's the way things are done in our Jewish culture and community?

Did I become such an unbearable burden for him?

I always thought of myself as a good Abba!

Sure, I don't claim to be an ideal Dad.

Sure, I was strict but never a dictator!

Sure, many a times I had been very, very accommodative of the opinions and the wishes of my sons.

Where have I gone wrong in bringing up my boys?

What have I done to alienate my sons from me?

It pains me to know my younger son preferred to leave me rather than to live with me!

I thought he would get married and move out and settle on his own which is the normal thing.

I could have refused to give in to his demands as it would have been perfectly within my rights.

Well, I was tempted to do so and toyed with the idea of refusing his request.

But better sense prevailed..

I did yield to his demand inviting even ridicule from other elders.

Though I was certain that my son is making a big mistake nothing would convince him.

Though with great anguish I gave him his share of the inheritance.

But,

I was hopeful.

I was optimistic.

I was almost certain he would realize the folly and would return sooner or later.

That's why I was waiting for him and spotted him from far off as he came back.

It was a painful waiting..

It was a patient waiting..

It was a waiting without a fixed schedule.

I did toy with idea to go after him....

in search him..

or send my servants to look for him..

Some of my friends did suggest me to do so..

But once again better sense prevailed..

Had I gone after him, he would have gone further way and would have hardened his resolve never to return,

Thus losing him for good.

Though I lost the initial war and have my son to savor the initial victory,

I was certain, in the end, we both will win!

That's why, I didn't have any grudge, any retaliatory, vengeful feelings towards him.

That's why I didn't negatively react when came.

That's why I didn't scold him when returned. That's why I didn't turn him away when returned.

That's why I didn't cold shoulder him.

I could have given him a mouthful venting out all of my hurt feelings.

But didn’t.

I am glad my son learned the hard way.

I am happy that he realized his mistakes and came back.

I am happy that he asked for forgiveness and pardon.

In fact, his homecoming reminded of the follies of my youthful days!

As I had learned from my past mistakes,

I am glad my son too did so.

Well, it's a quite different story about my elder son!

He too gave me a shock as he refused to accept his repentant brother.

For what and why on earth, was he so dutiful and hardworking?

Why did he get up everyday early in the morning and go to work?

Did he enjoy his work and his life?

What was that he wanted to prove to himself?

Or was he starving for approval from others?

It really pains me to see his emptiness,

his anger, his envy, his insecurity,

and his disconnectedness.

While his brother who had left home came back and re entered his home,

He who had never left home refused to enter his own home and defiantly stood right in front of the house.

I could have waited for him to come in

as I did wait for his brother.

But I knew very well it wasn't easy for him 'to come to his senses'.

So I went out to him..

I pleaded with him..

I persuaded him..

To come in and

Share the Celebrations!

I kept on reassuring him,

'son, all that I have is yours and you will always be with me.'

So far I haven't been able to persuade him to come and join the Celebrations...

But I am in no mood to give up on my elder son..

I have the patience to wait..

I have the optimism to depend..

I know for certain:

My elder son too will

'come to his senses'

I am sure and certain someday

My elder son will realize that:

I am a caring and concerned father,

I am there ever ready to forgive..

I am there ever ready to pardon..

I am there ever ready to wait for my children to return home...

And I shall gladly wait as long as it takes..

Until all of us are at home and celebrating."

Yes,my sons do  help me to keep reminding myself:

I need to keep growing..

I need to keep experiencing:

'the growing pains'

even as I grow old.

Oh, the Father of both the younger and the elder sons,

Thank you for inspiring me,

With your personal Monologues.

Thank you for inspiring me,

With your farsighted generosity in allowing your younger son to have his way and make his share of mistakes.

Thank you for inspiring me,

With your unlimited patience to wait for his return.

Thank you for inspiring me,

With your enduring optimism.

Thank you for inspiring me,

With your unconditional welcoming of your younger son.

Thank you for inspiring me,

With your unrelenting pleading with your elder son.

Thank you for inspiring me,

Above all with your genuine caring paternal love.

All these qualities you share with your sons

make me marvel at you!

You are and will ever be an enduring inspiration for me and for many!

Oh,boy,don't me too need to keep growing?

Thank you!

Wish you a very Happy Father's Day!

Memories of my own father gushes into my mind.

Oh, my Father,

My earliest memory of you revolves around a summer vacation of my childhood days.

It was in an early May or so.

During a summer vacation one of my uncles had come and taken me to his house where my grandparents were living. After a week or so you came to take me back.    

Oh, my Father,

I still remember you coming in an afternoon while I was playing with my cousins and wanted to take me back.

But I didn't want to leave them.  

Then you took me aside and gave me a One Rupee Silver coin and told me I could buy candies on my way back home.

I was thrilled to have the Silver coin as it meant a lot of money for a boy of six or so...

And thus you so carefully persuaded to come with you!

Oh, boy, you were smart, right, Father?

Oh, my Father,

Another memorable event where I  remember you was your presence for my Priestly Ordination. You had to travel one night and two days by railroad covering a distance of over a thousand kilometers (six hundred hundred plus miles) to reach our seminary where the Ordination Ceremony was held.

It was the first and last time you travelled so far away from our home, right?

I still picture you sitting in the front row!

Oh,  my Father,

Yet another cherished memory of you were  the very personal, affectionate letters you wrote me while as a young priest I was studying Sacred Scriptures in Rome.

I have read them over and over especially the ones you very movingly described about the day I was born, about the death of my sick, ailing mother and your soulmate.

We were together just for forty one days!

Then she left us for heaven, right, Father?

I have laminated those letters you had sent  and treasure them. Along with it I have as souvenirs your Wedding Shawl ,your pocketknife, and a few currency notes and changes you had left behind in shelf.

I do treasure them....

Oh, my Father,

The last and lasting memory of you was your Final days...

Your final days were in the hospital.

On a Christmas Evening you were taken to the hospital. As we were there by your , right after the New Year was born you died.  

Now both of you my parents are together in heaven.

You and your soul mate are together  up O  heaven.

Someday i shall join you to be together heaven,

Never ever to be separated again!

Oh, my Father, thank you for all that you been for me...

Thank you!

Happy  Father's Day!

Oh, dear Jesus, My Lord and My God,

Thank you for telling the story of the Father of the Prodigal Son!

While narrating the story you had in mind your own Father, right?

You and your Father had perfect harmony and understanding, didn't you?

You and your Father are one in unison!

Oh, dear Jesus,  My Lord and My God,

Thank you for giving me my Father.

Bless all the Father's who are alive with you up in heaven and who alive here on earth with their loved ones.

May all those Fathers who are alive on earth be happy, healthy, and live long!

May they all have a:

Very Happy Father's Day!

Oh, dear Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I would love to spend some time in silence in your presence gratefully remembering your Father in Heaven as well as my Father

somewhere there in the same place!

Glory be to the Father......

Amen

JoAchen

Sunday 14th June, 2015

my-monologoues.blogspot.in

Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. These are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my  personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of the journaling of a 'Prodigal Priest' on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father.

You are welcome to share them with me.
Dear Reader, I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours.

I plan on uploading a Reflection each on 7th, 14th, 21st, and on the 28th of every month.
Thank you!

45 My Monologues:

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

Samaritan (Lk10)

Dear Samaritan Brother,

You are introduced and presented by the Lord as the prime and powerful character in the parable. I am very much tempted to believe there must have been a good, live Samaritan, living anonymously and doing good unassumingly in spite of being a victim of racial prejudice. Don't you think so?

Do grant me the privilege and joy to listen to your Monologues and Musings and be honored.

Good Samaritan, "I am more than happy to share a piece of my mind with you.....

As I was coming down from Jerusalem to Jericho I was thinking of the age old rivalry and enmity between us, the Samaritans and our blood brothers from Judea who pride themselves to be the "pure bred Jews".

Sure,  they don't like us, they consider us as half Jews as we have had mixed blood. Besides,  there is still the anger and the hate generated centuries ago over the division of undivided Kingdom of Solomon. After the partition, more than once our Northern Kingdom had attacked and many of our ancestors were deported out of the county and were forced to inter marry and thus our racial purity was lost.

So we were always considered as second class Jews, half Jews, unfaithful Jews, and abominable. There was strife between us. We were cruel to each other...

They belittle us. despise us.. We too hate them and fight them back.

They keep boasting about their racial superiority. We don't like each other passing through our respective territories. But we just tolerate..

I often wonder why on earth should we be holding on to our ancestral enmity? Though we can't change the past we can certainly try to shape our future,can't we?

As I was thinking something like these and trudging my way down to Jericho I happened to notice  someone wounded and abandoned on the wayside. I felt pity on him and did all that I could save him.. It didn't occur to me to find out whether he is a pure Jew or a half Jew or even a gentile.

I am glad to know the Jesus, the Rabbi spoke highly of me. All that I did was to attend to a fellow human being whose life was  in danger! I couldn't just leave him unattended. That's what I learned from the Torah and was taught at home."

Oh, dear Samaritan Brother,

Thank you for allowing me to have a glimpse of your inner self.

I am humbled!

How I wish! I could be so open and uninhibited like you! How I wish! I could see others as fellow humans irrespective of their Creed, Color, or Caste!

How I wish! I could be generous enough to go out of my way to help out the needy fellow humans!

Dear Priest, dear Levite,

To be frank,  my initial reaction of you is critical and negative. How could you be so callous to have passed by the other side! Though I am strongly tempted to be judgemental of you, I want to hold it and request you to share your feelings and thoughts as you felt them.

I would be honored to listen to your Musings and Monologues.....

The Priest and the Levite:

"Though we did see someone lying wounded on the way side we didn't pay much attention as it is a frequent sight on this notoriously dangerous pathway. We were also scared of our own safety. Besides, if the wounded man was already dead, then to come into contact with a dead body would mean defiling ourselves and we would not be able to perform our liturgical /religious services. We had our own errands to do and we couldn't get distracted by involving with his case......

After all we are almost exclusively set apart for liturgical/religious matters and we are not to be distracted by such mundane happenings. Let others bother about these things.... "

Dear Priest and Levite,

You know why I was so critical of you both? It is because when I look at you and your reactions I see myself very clearly. I have reacted like you when I found myself in similar situations. Being a priest,erected  I almost automatically put an air of superiority.

To make it worse, I have often  been under some sort of Pharisaical Superiority. As a result, I didn't care to bother myself with getting involved or coming forward to help those in need.

Even now, at times, I catch myself behaving so.

Oh, the Lawyer longing to learn,

Though you are a pundit in Jewish Law you seem to want to learn more of the ways and means "to inherit eternal life", right?

Sure, you did ask the Master right question. Strangely the Master facilitated you to answer your own question which you did rightly.

But as per the Narratives, you asked questions,

"to test" the Master,

to seize him up,

and to trap him,

didn't you?

During my days, both as a seminarian and as student-priest, I used to ask questions to test, to seize up, and to give trouble to the professors and chuckle within myself! Even now I do it with people whom I perceive as a threat to my overblown ego!

There is a Mini Lawyer of you in me!

You and I know who our neighbors are, don't we? Instead what you and I need to keep asking ourselves is what could we do for our neighbors, right?

Dear Jesus, My Master,

It was to highlight the Samaritan issue  rather than advising to help others in need, that you narrated the parable, right?

Your own fellow Jews were highly contemptuous of the Samaritans which was totally unacceptable to God the Father of all. You wanted them never ever to be prejudiced against an entire group of people or an entire race or as whole of a nation as totally bad or inferior.  

Lord, let me always be aware of the fact that there are people and persons whom I hold as Samaritans!  I need to see and treat them as your children and my fellow humans!

Oh, My Lord and My God,

I would like to spend some time in silence in your presence and count all those whom I consider as Samaritan and see as my neighbors in need!

Amen

JoAchen

Sunday, 7th June, 2015

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Dear Reader,
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. These are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my  personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of the journaling of a 'Prodigal Priest' on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father.

You are welcome to share them.
Dear Reader, I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours.

I plan on uploading a Reflection each on 7th, 14th, 21st, and on the 28th of every month.
Thank you!