32 My Monologues with an Angry Jesus in the Temple (Jn 2)

32My Monologues with an Angry           Jesus in the Temple (Jn 2)

Dear Jesus,

Though initially quite a bit shocking, in a sense, it makes me real happy to see you visibly angry and unusually upset!

Because, it shows:

You are real human "in every way that we are, except without sin."

You had genuinely experienced and spontaneously expressed a variety of emotions like happiness and Joy,  sadness and sorrow, compassion and kindness, anxiety and anger, right?

Dear Jesus,

You were really happy in the company of little children, Weren't you?

You felt compassion for the hungry,  for the sick, and for the bereaved, Didn't you?

You wept over the death of your friend, Didn't you?

You got angry on several occasions with your hand picked disciples,

Didn't you?

You vehemently vent your anger at the Pharisees and used all sorts harsh words like, "hypocrites", "white washed tombs", "brood of vipers"  "blind fools" etc. Didn't you?

You were mad at the money changers and merchants in the Temple Complex, Weren't you?

Emotions galore!

Typical of any human being! right?

Dear Jesus,

Of all the emotions, the emotion of anger is real confusing as it has acquired a very negative coloring.

At home, as kids we were always told not to get angry, not to shout or not to yell at anyone especially not to get angry with adults, elders, and with those in authority. We were told that it was unbecoming of good children to do so!

But at the same time, the adults, the elders, the teachers, the pastors and many of those in authority went about venting their anger freely!

Somehow,it began to settle in my mini mind that it's OK for these grown ups of every sort to get angry at almost every opportunity with hardly any effort to control themselves.

But we children the minors, and the underdogs shouldn't!

So anger is bad and forbidden for some, right?

Dear Jesus,

Yet a step further: in the Sunday School as well as during the preparation for the First Communion we were told and taught that Anger is one of the Seven Capital / Deadly Sins and we were told to confess them if we had gotten angry.

So anger is not only bad and forbidden, but also sinful, right?

Then, from the Bible reading and from the Bible Classes, we come to learn about your anger, particularly about your outbursts in the Temple as well as towards the Pharisees.

Once again my adolescent mind often  toyed and tinkered with the unthinkable i. e,

how could Jesus our Savior ever get angry because anger was considered and thought of as one of those Capital Sins?

Weren't we taught so in the Sunday Schools?

Dear Jesus,

For a moment, it seemed you sinned by getting angry, right?

It was very confusing for an adolescent mind!

Son of God seems to sin!

Oh,  No, Impossible!

Somewhere something seems to go wrong and I too got it wrong, right?

Dear Jesus, you are, "in every way that we are, except without sin."

At the same time, Paul your Apostle keeps telling us,

"Be angry, but do not sin."

He seems to suggest one can be angry without sinning!

Dear Apostle Paul,

Thank you, for telling us and for informing us that one can get angry without sinning!

Dear Jesus,

That's what you must have done, right?

Sure, you felt very angry over the misuse and abuse of your Father's House.

Sure, you made a very dramatic show of your displeasure and anger by turning their table and chasing the money changers.

Sure, you meant to scare them away through your very dramatic swirling and swishing of the whip in your hand!

But did you really mean to whip them physically and hurt them?

Could you have even ever wished so?

Could you have ever done so?

Didn't you advise "to show the other cheek"?

Didn't you order Peter "to put your sword back into the sheath"?

If so, you could never ever physically hurt anyone, right?

No way!

But at the same time, you did want to make an impact by dramatically exhibiting your anger and thereby offering them an opportunity to mend their erring ways, right?

How effectively you dealt with them and handled the situation!

At the same time, you were not naive enough to assume, ever since your dramatic intervention the malpractice had ceased to continue, right?

You didn't make it a prestige issue and return the next day to the same Temple Precincts to see whether they are back and if so, you could chase them and reinforce the ban, right?

You were not stubborn to do so which would have been very selfish from your part, right?

You did neither verbally abuse the money-changers nor physically assault them so as to have your views and ways at any cost.

How well intentioned and balanced you had been!

Dear Jesus,

I would have gone to any possible length to enforce my views.

Probably, I would have verbally abused them in very dehumanizing ways.

That's what I do very often with my opponents!

I do often very effectively hit my opponents below their belt and just to make them feel ashamed as well as miserable!

Dear Jesus,

In hindsight, when I had been angry and have lost my temper, I had done it with a selfish motive under the garb of an apparent altruistic reason!

Though, fortunately, i have physically assaulted no one, emotionally as well as verbally, I have hurt and assaulted many of my fellow sisters and brothers. My tongue, at times, had been much sharper than many a kitchen knives and my verbal abusive blows had been much harder than many a physical blows!

I feel sorry for having verbally abused and dehumanized my opponents.

Dear Jesus,

Though you have gotten angry on several occasions, you were neither hateful nor revenge filled.  

My anger, many a times, had a tinge of revenge and retaliation.

My emotion of anger often has ended up in denting and damaging and intending, at least partially, to destroy the self image of my opponents!

Often my angry outbursts had been more of confrontations of egos and less of a clash of issues or ideas.

Looking back, I have hurt many through my uncontrolled outbursts.

Dear Jesus,

I bring before you all those fellow sisters and brothers who have been the victims of my anger and outbursts.

I also bring along my contrite heart seeking forgiveness from them as well as from you.

I forgive over and again all those who have  been angry with me.

Bless them and me with your healing touch.

Dear Jesus,

Though my angry outbursts have been on the decline, what goes on within myself  is my indirect ways of  expressing my anger, such as:

I do indirectly avenge those with whom I am angry, by engaging in gossips about them. Outwardly, I may appear to be very polite and polished in my dealings with them, indirectly I do my best to damage their name and fame by gossiping about them.

Another of my favorite way of getting  even and angry is through complaining about the ones I am angry with.

Yet another of my pet ways of expressing my anger indirectly is through passive aggressive ways without uttering a single angry word!

Oh,  boy,  I am an expert on it!

Dear Jesus, as you know these indirect ways of getting angry are often very effective, it has either delayed or even stunted my spiritual as well as personal growth.

My resentments which are the net result of my unexpressed, suppressed, repressed, and unsolved anger have played havoc in my human relationships, in my spiritual growth, and above all in my relationship with you!

More than a anyone else, you know it,

Don't you?

Dear Jesus,

As I inch towards the evening of my life-pilgrimage, I want keep on cleaning up those sediments of frozen resentments and unexpressed hurts and anger.

I want to place them before you....

I want start every day anew...

Dear Jesus,

You have ample enough reasons to be angry with me and to chase me out.

Yet your steadfast, forgiving, and forbearing love has been following me like a shadow!

Thanks you, Jesus,

My Lord and my God!

Dear Jesus, I would love to spend some time in silence in your loving and forgiving Presence!

Amen

JoAchen

Saturday, 7th March, 2015

joachenmonologues@gmail.com

prayers and I request you to include me in yours.

I plan on uploading a Reflection each on 7th, 14th, 21st, and on the 28th of every month. If you do not want get these Reflections via email, please send a note and your email id will be deleted from the mailing list.

Thank you!

My  Lord and My God!