21 My Monologues with Joseph, the Just, the Silent, (Mt1)
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Volumes have been written about you in the initial years of New Testament times as well as in the distant and recent past, trying to speculate and figure out:
about you,
about your age,
about ancestry,
about your immediate family of origin,
about the probability of a previous marriage, about fathering children in an earlier marriage,
about getting betrothed to Mary of Nazareth,
about the nature of your relationship with her,
about the type of your relationship with Jesus,
about the time and place of your death, etc.,
Getting a glimpse of all these human hoopla might give you a chuckle of delight, Doesn't it?
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Writings and discussions about you and on these issues will keep on happening.
Let the scholars, the pundits, and the pupils of all sorts, continue their earnest search for you and carry on their creative research on you and on these issues so as to provide us with a better grasp of you and of your life.
May they find joy and success in their work!
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
In the meantime, along with millions of ordinary humans, I strongly feel the push and pull within myself to reflect on you and on the already available texts, and on the hitherto collected informations, which are sure to help me in my daily struggle, trying to live a semi-solitude way of life and at the same time, dreaming of and striving after, nibbling on the "life in abundance."
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Whenever I read the scanty and the skeleton references about you from the pages of the Gospel Narratives, what irresistibly attracts me and dauntlessly draws me to you, is your melodious and mesmerising Sound of Silence! Isn't it true that not a single syllable of your spoken words has found a place in the Gospel Narratives? Yet the live vibrations of your deep thoughts of agony and ecstasy and the conspicuously unspoken words are ever present in between the few relevant lines.These vibes can be strongly felt by any attentive reader from the initial chapters of Matthean and Lucan Narratives, right?
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
You can never ever forget the moment when you came to know about horrendous news of the shockingly unbelievable and totally unacceptable pregnancy of your Fiancee,
Can you?
Could you have ever imagined this scenario, the happening of the unexpected, in your life?
Weren't you hurt to the core of your heart?
Weren't you hurt to every fiber of your Being?
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Who broke the shocking news to you?
Her parents?, Her relatives?, Herself?
After hearing the disastrous news,
How did you react?
Did you freeze?
Did you pale and pass out for a moment?
Did you feel rage boiling up deep within?
Did you feel revenge welling up within you? Did you feel cuss and curses frothing within?
Did you feel seething with vengeance?
Did you feel taking her to the court?
You might have had at least a fleeting experience of these or similar feelings, right?
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
If you have not had any of the above retaliatory feelings and emotional reactions,
I am envious of you, indeed!
Because, if I were in a similar situation
I would have yielded to almost all the above mentioned retaliatory and vengeful emotions. I would have been very furious and ferocious, vicious and vindictive until the last penny is paid up, that's an yet to be untamed part of me.
On different occasions and for various reasons
many of these emotions continue to keep popping up in my daily life causing concern.
That's a part of me, I keep struggling with!
Oh, dear, Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
You are far, far ahead of many of us!
I wish! I could be like you, keeping cool
in my tensed situations, struggles and perils!
How wish to be cool, calm, and composed like you! Oh, Joseph, the patient and persevering!
At least, once in a while, then, often, and then, once a day, how I wish to be cool like you! Someday, may it become a major part of me!
For me, may this be:
a dream to be paddled,
a wish to be pursued, and
a goal to be achieved
for the rest of the last phase of my life!
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Do keep on inspiring and imbibing me!
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Had you experienced any of those emotions,
humanly speaking, it would have been natural.
It is quite probable and quite natural for any fiancé to feel very hurt, angry and betrayed!
I guess, you met your pregnant fiancee face to face and then, either you did talk your heart out to her or you did say to her something similar to the following lines, or a bit of both:
"Mary, how could you, ever do this to me?"
"By the way, who is the guy responsible?"
"After having blandly betrayed me, how could you come up with this cock and bull story?"
"Tell me, Mary, who really is, this guy who has fathered the Unborn Life within you?"
"Mary, I find myself at a loss: since your childhood on, you had been very innocent and quite angelic in your life and behaviour."
"Mary, I never ever, even in my wildest of imaginations, can doubt your faithfulness,
your virginity...you know it, Don't you? "
"Mary, you are not that type... I know it."
"Mary, I am confused...., I am going crazy,
Mary, I just can't bring myself to buy your so-called, "Power of the Most High" explanation."
"Mary, equally, I just can't bring myself to believe that you deliberately can or did cheat me, No, Never, you can do such a Thing!
Mary, don't you or can't you see my dilemma?
"Mary, I know, for certain, you would never do it to me or to anyone for that matter."
"Mary, I know you so well, you are not that sort of a girl."
"Mary, you can never bring yourself to do such a terrible Thing. I am certain of it! "
" At the same, Mary, I just can't figure out your explanation, it's never heard of such a Thing!"
"Mary, I am real scared, if I were to let my family and my community know of this mess, they are sure to force me to sue you.
They can either get you excommunicated or they can push you into prostitution or get you stoned, even stoned to death or even burned at stake!, The least, they can and they will do is to get us separated."
"Mary, honestly, this is what I am scared of!"
"I just can't imagine this happening to you!"
"Though deeply hurt and angry, I shall never let this happen to you."
"Mary, I will not lodge any legal or official complaint against you.. "
"I shall quietly cancel the Betrothal Agreement and thus painfully put you away, though I hate to do it, I got to.....
Mary, that's only least harmful way out for us, especially for you!"
"Mary our lives will never ever be same,
We will never have it as we had talked, prayed, planned and even dreamed, right, Mary?"
"Mary, this our 'Agony in the Garden of our Dreamed of Married Life,' right, Mary? "
With broken our dreams and bleeding hearts, Mary, let us part our ways!"
"Mary, I am soulfully sad!"
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
You, are "a just man", Indeed!
You are the "Rarest of the Rare" who has completely controlled and have overcome your anger, hate, revenge filled feelings, and rancor towards your Fiancee, the pregnant Fiancee.
Oh, dear Joseph, you wanted to cause her the least minimum misery, though as per the Law, you could have easily got your Mary convicted of unfaithfulness and near adultery, right?
Oh, Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
You must have grappled with the powerfully destructive emotions of anger, hate, and revenge filled retaliation, right?
You must have groped in the darkness of your sadness and confusion, right?
You did get the better of those deadly feelings
You did survive them, you did overcome them.
Oh, Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
You took the painful decision to put away, your Fiancee quietly without any negative publicity, you did it on you own, unaided,
unprompted neither by angels nor by humans!
You are genuine, you are a gem of a person!
Oh, dear Joseph, so truly, you are a Just Man!
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Then came the very same Gabriel,
whose visit with your Fiancee started all these commotions and confusions, causing lots of heartaches for both of you, right?
He comes to you at the most critical times of your life, he comes:
to guide you through the difficult times,
to assure you of Mary's moral integrity,
to reaffirm her faithfulness to the Betrothal
to persuade you to reconsider your decision
to cancel the Betrothal and to leave her,
to nudge you to accept Mary as your wife,
to lead you step by step, stage by stage and
to help you to accept the Divine Plans for you.
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
Whenever the Angel Gabriel warned you,
Whenever the Angel Gabriel prompted you,
be it about the cruel scheming of King Herod,
be it about the suggestion to flee to Egypt,
be it about the prompting to return from Egypt,
be it about the suggestion to go to Nazareth,
You listened carefully and obeyed cheerfully
You did it without a whimper or a whine,
You did it without uttering a word of dissent!
You did it in Silence, willfully and willingly!
Oh, dear Joseph, the Silent One! You are Just!
Oh, dear Joseph, the Just, the Silent,
You said your "Fiat" loud and clear, in Silence!
Let the Sound of your Silence in saying your "Fiat" at every critical moment in your life!
Let that melodious, mesmerising and soft
Sound of your Silence, the sound of your "Fiat"
Keep ringing in my ears for years and years!
Until I enter the Heavenly Home and hear, "Gloria in Excelsis Deo... Gloria in Excelsis Deo.
Oh, My Lord and My God,
Until then, in my own minute ways, inspired by
the" Fiats"of your Mother and Foster Father,
Let me keep saying every day of my life "fiat"
"fiat.. fiat.. fiat..fiat.. fiat..fiat...Voluntas Tua"
Oh, My Lord and My God,
I wish to spend some time in silence in Your Presence.
"Speak Lord, your servant is listening... "
Amen
JoAchen
Sunday, December, 14, 2014
PS
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological speculations. They are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling on my Pilgrimage to the Home of our Heavenly Father.
Dear Reader, as I keep you holding up in my daily prayers, I request you to include me in yours.
Thank you!
JoAchen
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