5/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : seeking “glory from one another”(Jn 5:44)

5/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : seeking “glory from one another”

“How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God[a]?” (Jn 5:44)

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,

Yes, you are quite right I do crave to get attention and glory from my fellow humans.Being a priest it's so easily tempting to seek glory and to get glory for the services I render.

As I look back to my childhood days of a rural farming Catholic community our pastors and priests were the centre of action and attention. They did command attention and most of them enjoyed it and did glow and glory!

Maybe, it was one the reasons that I was attracted to the priesthood!

What a worldly motive to become a priest!!

That was and is a part of me, Lord!

You know me through and through,

Don't You, Lord?

Dear Jesus,

As you know, it's a part of our human nature to place someone or even something on a pedestal.

Be it,

Craving for a king or even a golden calf,

We humans love to have someone on a pedestal, Don’t we?

In turn, if possible we ourselves like to be on a pedestal.

I have often sought it and got myself a place on a pedestal however small it had been or for however brief a time it had been.

Very often I have looked for and even sought after and expected praise and applause either after celebrating a Holy Kurbana, or after a preaching or a homily or after taking a class or conducting a course.

I expect it and when I don't get I feel moody and upset.

To get myself placed on a pedestal I might even praise and glorify others around me expecting to be praised and glorified in return!

How accurate are your words, Lord!

When you say that we seek each other's glory!

Often I am tempted is to get glory all for myself without giving it others even at the age of seventy!

Yet today you remind me that you always sought the glory of your Father.

And you exhort us to do the same!

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,

I want to keep myself reminding that I have such a tendency and I need to keep it in check.

I shall and I will keep trying to resist the temptation to seek glory for myself in own many ways and in my small world around.

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,

I bring before you:

Everyone of my loved ones.

Everyone of my enemies who were and are.

Everyone who loves as well as hates me.

Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.

Everyone who helps me and who don't.

Everyone whom i have lead astray.

Everyone who is sick and needs healing.

Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.

Every priest who is in need of prayers.

Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,

I thank the Father,

I thank the Spirit,

For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!

For Your Uncountable blessings for me!

For Your Unlimited Patience with me!

For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!

For Your Unflinching faith in me!

For Your Unfailing Hope in me!

For Your Unconditional Love of me!

Amen

JoAchen

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Tuesday, 5th April  2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!

4/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : Cenacle (Part 2) Musings of Thomas

4/4/16 My Monologues & Musings :

Cenacle  (Part 2) Musings of Thomas

“I had gone out to run some errands as well as to feel the pulse of religio-political life in the city. When I got back I was astounded to hear the news about Appearance of the Lord to our group. They were all amazed and happy to  have experienced the the presence of the Risen Lord.

Sure, I was happy too.

But….

I really felt unlucky and hurt as I wasn't there to see him. I just loved to have had at least a glimpse of my Master.

Oh, No!

I just can't imagine the Master appearing to our group when I was out!

Why wasn't he there before I had gone out?

Or he could have appeared when I got back.

Am I so unlucky to have missed him?

I am very sure that he didn't do it on purpose.

He didn't deliberately pick the time of my absence to make his appearance.

Because,

He had no grounds to have any grouse against me.

I didn't betray him as Judas did!

I didn't disown him as Peter did!

On the other, it was me who encouraged my companions to accompany him to Bethany even if it meant getting killed!

It would have made me happy,

had my Master a left a message that he missed me and he would be back hoping to see me.

So I did pour out my complaints.

i did pout.

I was, in a sense, very childish in insisting that I wouldn't believe in his resurrection appearance to my companions until I see him and touch him for myself!

Oh boy, looking back,

sure I was immature, emotional and ill-tempered indeed!

Oh, My Lord and My God,

How much you love to have put up with my outbursts.

When you appeared again you could have scolded me and could have expressed your disgust over my silly, childish behaviour, right?

You could have told me that you expected much for from me!

You could have expressed your impatience with me.

But you never showed any annoyance.

When appeared again you called me and treated me like child and asked me to have my wish fulfilled!

You did cater to my whims and fancies!

I just couldn’t believe my eyes and ears!

Oh, boy!

How immense is your patience with me!

How unconditional is your love for me!

My Lord and My God!”

Dear Apostle Thomas,

Thank you very much for the musings from your heart.

You know what?

In similar situations I have boasted of having got my wishes granted.

But unilke me,

You just melted away in the immense patient love you experienced from the Lord and you just cried out:

“My Lord and My God!”

Dear Jesus, My Lord and My God,

You have been patient with me not just three plus years as you did with your disciples!

You have been patient with me for the last seventy years or so.

You have been very patient with me as a prodigal priest for last forty plus years,

Haven't you?

Thank you,

My Lord and My God!

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,

I bring before you:

Everyone of my loved ones.

Everyone of my enemies who were and are.

Everyone who loves as well as hates me.

Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.

Everyone who helps me and who don't.

Everyone whom i have lead astray.

Everyone who is sick and needs healing.

Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.

Every priest who is in need of prayers.

Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,

I thank the Father,

I thank the Spirit,

For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!

For Your Uncountable blessings for me!

For Your Unlimited Patience with me!

For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!

For Your Unflinching faith in me!

For Your Unfailing Hope in me!

For Your Unconditional Love of me!

Amen

JoAchen

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Monday 4th April  2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you

3/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : “My Lord and My God” (Jn 20:28)

3/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : “My Lord and My God” (Jn 20:28)

Dear Apostle Thomas,

After the Resurrection of Jesus your Master and your Lord, you, for sure, garnered much attention and courted controversy, right?

Though very little is known about your personal life, your family background and about your occupation etc, some of your interventions do highlight your personal qualities and characteristics.

Remember, when Jesus your Master wanted to go to Judea and visit his friend Lazarus who was seriously ill, he was dissuaded by your fellow-disciples for the fear of his life. But you were courageous enough to invite your colleagues to go with the Lord, come what may, right? While your fellow-disciples played it safe, you had the guts to go and even face death!

That is remarkable of you!

Unlike your colleagues, you showed such an unalloyed affection and commitment to your Lord and Master?

Dear Apostle Thomas,

Your show of chivalry was not to impress upon. It was genuine indeed!

Dear Apostle Thomas,  

Your candid and courageous witnessing forces me to look into myself and be confronted with my own lack of courage and commitment to stick out for my Master!

Thank you for forcing me to look into  myself and be in touch with my own half-hearted commitment to my Lord and Master.

Dear Apostle Thomas,

Remember, you once told your Lord and Master that you don't know the Way?

How innocently/naively you blurted out your ignorance concerning the Way and expose your ignorance in the presence of everyone including your Master and Lord. You never felt small by letting the Lord know of your ignorance concerning the Way,

Dear Apostle  Thomas,

If I were in your shoes I would have kept quiet and wouldn't have made known my ignorance. By acknowledging your ignorance in the presence of your Lord and in the presence of fellow-disciples, you were able to get growing closer to the Lord. Very often, I am ashamed to admit my ignorance and appear to be all knowing!

No wonder, I am stuck and stunted in my personal relationship with the Lord, despite being a religious and a priest for forty plus years.

Dear Apostle Thomas,

Finally, you are unjustly branded as "the doubting Thomas" as you refused to buy and believe the Resurrection of your Lord and Master. You were defiant, you at least appeared to be stubborn.

Why?

Was your  'Doubt'  a ploy to me action?

to get attention?

Were you afraid to get hurt again?

You adamant to the point of being obstinate?

Was your "Doubt" an attempt to express your anger  and frustration?

By the way, where were you when the Risen Lord appeared to rest of your fellow-disciples?

Did you feel discounted and marginalized by the Risen Lord as He chose to appear to the disciples when you had gone out to run errands and collect provisions?

It was not just doubting for the sake doubting.

You didn't hang on to your doubt.

You didn't  feel vindicated.

You didn't boast, finally when Lord appeared and yielded to your demands to touch the wounds and place your figure in his wounded side.

You just melted..

You didn't insist to touch or place your finger.

You were totally bowled over, right?

Your spontaneous response,

"My Lord and My God" said it all.

No more doubts..

No more conditions..

Just giving yourself entirety away to your  Lord!

Surrendering!! total Surrendering!!

Dear Apostle Thomas,

How i wish to surrender myself to the Lord as did!!!

Will I ever be able?

Dear Jesus, My Risen Lord,

My Lord and My God,

You never were hurt or offended by his haughty demands.

You never were angry with Thomas for insisting  with conditions!

You just yielded to his conditions!

You just paid heed to demands!

Because, you just needed to seen him transform!

I guess, you do wish the same for me!

Help me to get myself transformed like your

Thomas!

Thank you,

My Risen Lord for keep patiently waiting  for me!

To say,

"My Lord and My God"!

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,

I bring before you:

Everyone of my loved ones.

Everyone of my enemies who were and are.

Everyone who loves as well as hates me.

Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.

Everyone who helps me and who don't.

Everyone whom i have lead astray.

Everyone who is sick and needs healing.

Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.

Every priest who is in need of prayers.

Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,

I thank the Father,

I thank the Spirit,

For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!

For Your Uncountable blessings for me!

For Your Unlimited Patience with me!

For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!

For Your Unflinching faith in me!

For Your Unfailing Hope in me!

For Your Unconditional Love of me!

Amen

JoAchen

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Sunday, 3rd April  2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!

2/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : Cenacle (Part One):

2/4/16 My Monologues & Musings :  Cenacle (Part One):

Dealing with ourselves as a  Bunch of Guilt-ridden, Cowardly Confused, Contrite and Nostalgic Disciples

Musings of Thomas …..

“These four walls of this Upper Room are filled with murals of memories of all sorts. Jesus, our Teacher and our Master for the last three plus years has brought us here a number of times. Within these four walls, we have gathered, we talked, we prayed, we have eaten and have listened on several occasions. But the last one was the Passover Meal.

It was here  in this room he washed our feet and exhorted us.

It was here in this room he broke the Bread and shared the Cup of Wine transforming them into his own Body and Blood. It is here in this room he gave his Farewell Discourse.

But now we are here in this room neck deep in depression and our heads heavy and hanging in shame and our hearts filled with remorse and repentance. It is from here we got dispersed and did run away leaving him alone to face the betrayal and the trail and the torture and tormenting.

After the crucifixion. asneaked into this room one by one  we didn't have the energy to talk wit each other.

We were sad.

We were in shock.

We were almost ashamed to look at each other.

We blamed ourselves for abandoning him in his hour of agony.

We felt angry about the betrayal of Judas and felt sad for tragic end.

Peter was often in tears weeping and wailing for having disowned the Master.

We felt extremely guilty for having disbelieved his Resurrection…

Then we started to share our memories of discourses, of  his stories and of his miracles..

We competed among ourselves in owning up our share of ingratitude and unbelief.

And thus we spent our first days after the crucifixion of our Lord and Master.

Then we started to grapple with the incredible yet inevitable reality of his Resurrection. …”

Dear Jesus, My Risen Lord and Master,

As you know I too have a  kind of Upper Room of my own personal life.

Often dread to enter inside.

I dare not to stay there even when enter I'm.

Because :

I don't want to face myself.

I don't want to face my own ugly and shameful past of betrayals and abandoning. I want to enter inside and stay there…

And for e myself to face my own guilt and failures!

Dear Jesus, tge Risen Lord,

I bring before you:

Everyone of my loved ones.

Everyone of my enemies who were and are.

Everyone who loves as well as hates me.

Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.

Everyone who helps me and who don't.

Everyone whom i have lead astray.

Everyone who is sick and needs healing.

Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.

Every priest who is in need of prayers.

Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,

I thank the Father,

I thank the Spirit,

For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!

For Your Uncountable blessings for me!

For Your Unlimited Patience with me!

For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!

For Your Unflinching faith in me!

For Your Unfailing Hope in me!

For Your Unconditional Love of me!

Amen

JoAchen

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Saturday, 2nd April  2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you! 

1/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : “.... It is the Lord! ...” ( Jn 21:7)

1/4/16 My Monologues & Musings :

“.... It is the Lord! ...” ( Jn 21:7)

Musings of Simon Peter…..

“Oh, No!

How blind have I been!

How come that I couldn't recognise my  Lord?

Have I blocked him of my mind and my memory?

How I could?

Am I in denial?

Just a week or so ago,

I did deliberately deny him?

Didn't I?

Not once, but thrice?

I did deny him despite the clear warning given to me by my Lord, Didn't I?

I did deny him at a time when he  really needed my support.

I disowned him to protect myself?

Just because I was afraid of being caught.

Oh, My Master and My Lord,

Despite all my unfaithfulness and my fears,

You still keep loving me.

And even more so,

You keep seeking and asking the reassurance of my love for you,

Don't You, My Master and My Lord?

Yes, it's true, Lord.

There is equally another part of me:

Who loves you.

Who repents over my follies.

Who weeps over my denials.

You know me through and you,

Don’t You?

You know the Simon who loves you,

Don't You?

You know the Simon who disowns you,

Don't You?

You know the Simon who wavers,

Don't You?

You know the Simon who is outspoken,

Don't You?

You know the Simon who feels terribly bad, who repents, and who weeps,

Don’t You?

Oh, My Master and My Lord,

It makes me really humble:

Despite knowing my brokenness,

You still love me.

And you still want my love!

Thank you,

My Risen Lord and My Master!

A Million Thanks!”

Dear Simon Peter,

The Fallen and the Failed Disciple,

Thank you for the musings from the innermost core of your Being!

I am worse than you in denying the Lord.

I have denied him and disowned him tens of thousands times.

There is also a small part in me who repents and resolves to do better.

But then I find myself failing again!

That's me!

Dear Jesus, my Risen Lord,

Thank you for continuing to keep forgiving me!

Thank you for inspiring me to keep trying!

Thank you for seeking and asking for my love for you!

I will and I shall keep trying to love you,

despite my repeated failings and falling!

Dear Jesus,

I bring before you:

Everyone of my loved ones.

Everyone of my enemies who were and are.

Everyone who loves as well as hates me.

Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.

Everyone who helps me and who don't.

Everyone whom i have lead astray.

Everyone who is sick and needs healing.

Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.

Every priest who is in need of prayers.

Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,

I thank the Father,

I thank the Spirit,

For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!

For Your Uncountable blessings for me!

For Your Unlimited Patience with me!

For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!

For Your Unflinching faith in me!

For Your Unfailing Hope in me!

For Your Unconditional Love of me!

Amen

JoAchen

Joachenmonologues@gmail.com

Friday, 1st April 2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you!